P&F Industries 8: Molecular Fusion
by EDD17SP
Summary: Following their deadly encounter, Phineas and Ferb begin stem cell research with Doofenshmirtz, but they don't quite have the funds to do it successfully. Fortunately, Steve has a plan to get them money, and it involves a Ford Fusion late model race car...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb or any of the songs used. Do not attempt any of the driving described here at home. There is no guarantee it will work the way I wrote it and you'll probably get arrested.**

**This story is part of the "P&F Industries" series. I don't feel like listing them all again, so just read the rest of my stories that are numbered before you read this one. Okay? Okay.**

**Just a reminder, the gang is now all in their late teens and Candace, Jeremy, etc. are 22. I felt like I needed to say that because in this first scene, they sound like they're kids. (Well, except for Candace.)**

Chapter 1

_Saturday, March 6, 2015_  
_(The day following the last scene of "Phineas and Perry-Intrepid Avengers")_

"I hear the unmistakable growl of an International diesel which can only mean one thing," Phineas said excitedly.

Candace looked up from her newspaper and listened. "Paul the delivery guy is here?"

"Paul the delivery guy is here!"

It didn't matter that Phineas and Ferb's order was medical supplies as opposed to steel girders and machinery. When the delivery guy shows up, a little excitement was obligatory.

The HighTail delivery truck beeped as it backed up into the Flynn-Fletcher's driveway.

"Can you help us, sis? We have a big order and I'm sure Paul could use some help unloading it," Phineas asked as he and Ferb headed out the back door.

Candace swallowed the last sip of her coffee and set the mug in the sink. "Right behind you."

The three siblings headed out to the backyard and opened the side gate, revealing a smiling Paul.

"Hi, Paul," Phineas called out.

"Hey guys," Paul replied as he climbed from the cab of his delivery truck. He glanced at his clipboard as he opened the back door to the truck. "Okay, I can't even begin to imagine what you plan to do with this stuff. This doesn't seem like anything you've ever ordered in the past."

Without any hesitation, Phineas told him, "We're doing stem cell research to re-grow our friends' arms and legs who were attacked by a supernatural killer in 1910."

Paul stared blankly at the Flynn-Fletcher siblings. "Okay, then. Whatever floats your boat. Let me just run down the list and make sure I've got everything." He jumped up into the cargo hold and began searching the many packages for the numbers on his clip board. Finding one that matched, he pulled it down from the rack and read from the manifest, "One box of Petri dishes, twenty-five hundred count."

He handed the box to Candace, who carried the box to the backyard. Ferb pulled a folded list from his own pocket and checked off "Petri dishes."

"One box of syringes, three hundred."

"Check," said Ferb.

Paul handed this box to Phineas, who left for the backyard as Candace returned to take the next box.

"Six cases of assorted beakers and test tubes."

"Check."

"Two extra large incubation chambers."

"Check."

"Two fifty-five gallon drums of growth accelerator."

"Check."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! I can't lift that!" Candace yelled, but Paul dropped the first drum into her arms anyway. She couldn't hold it and it immediately crashed to the ground. "Ow!" She flipped the drum on its side and rolled it to the backyard and Phineas did the same with his drum.

"Three computer operated electron microscopes."

"Check."

"Don't drop those. They're fragile. And finally, three really big folding tables."

"Check."

Ferb slid the list into his pocket and grabbed one end of the plastic tables, which were all held together with flat twine, as Paul slid them out. Paul jumped out of the truck and lifted the other end, and he followed Ferb into the backyard.

"Okay, that's everything, guys," Paul said. He ran back for his clip board and Phineas signed it.

"Thanks, Paul," Phineas said, and the mobile logistics technician handed him the pink copy.

"See you later, guys." And Paul left.

No sooner had Paul's truck left the driveway, it was replaced with a familiar VW Flatbed Microbus.

"Here comes Heinz, right on cue," Candace said, pointing to the driveway.

Phineas and Ferb were in the process of tearing the cellophane off of the plastic tables. They stopped and followed their sister out to the driveway.

Doofenshmirtz climbed out of his truck holding several coat hangers, each trailing a long plastic bag covering whatever was inside.

"Hey, Dr. D," Phineas greeted.

"Hello, Heinz," Candace offered.

Doof closed his truck door. "Hey guys! It's a beautiful day for science, huh?"

"It's always a beautiful day for science," Phineas returned. "You're just in time! HighTail just dropped off all the new equipment we ordered."

"Cool!" Doofenshmirtz said excitedly. "Here." He held out the arm holding the dry-cleaning. "I brought you guys lab coats."

"Awesome!"

They each took a hanger from Doof and unwrapped a crisp, white lab coat.

Candace looked hesitant as she pulled hers on. "I don't know how much help I'm going to be. I was never that great at biology and I know for a fact I'm not nearly as smart as you guys."

"Don't sell yourself short, kid," Doofenshmirtz said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You're very smart. I'm not."

"Huh?"

"I may know physics, chemistry, and discreet mathematics forwards, backwards and sideways, but I have absolutely no common sense. There's a difference between being intelligent and being smart."

"Oh, thanks, that makes me feel better," Candace said sarcastically. She shrugged out from Heinz's arm.

"It's okay, Candace," Phineas said as they re-entered the backyard. "You and Perry can just be our lab assistants. Speaking of which, where _is_ Perry?"

"If you take one more step, you're going to trip over him."

Phineas quickly stopped. Perry was napping in the early morning sun right in the middle of the lawn. The extremely cold, harsh winter had very abruptly shifted to warm spring in the last week and a half of February, and Perry had spent a lot of time in the sun. Since retiring from the O.W.C.A., Perry had really been feeling his old age.

"Oh. I didn't see him there. I guess I'm just so used to him not being here and…wondering where he is just became part of our daily routine."

"Say, that reminds me," Doofenshmirtz said, tossing the last lab coat, which was platypus-sized, on top of Perry. "Why are we doing this outside in your backyard? When you're dealing with microbes, shouldn't you be in, like, a clean room environment?"

"Actually, our backyard _is_ a clean-room environment. Ferb and I built an invisible force field that surrounds the entire backyard. It's semi-permeable, so you can walk through it without even noticing. Air, however, cannot pass through it. So, with a simple air cleaner, we can keep the entire backyard perfectly sterile."

Perry crawled out from underneath the lab coat and put it on without a second thought, as if he knew exactly what was going on and needed no explanation. Because Perry is just awesome like that.

"Oh," Doof said. "Well, in that case, let's get to work!"

_Sunday, March 7, 2015_

The door to the dark hospital room slowly opened.

"Isabella…" Steve whispered. "Are you awake?"

The girl in the bed rolled over slowly. "Yeah, barely."

"Are you awake enough to go to mass in the hospital chapel?"

It had been exactly eight days since Isabella had awaken from her coma. So far, in addition to herself, Buford, Jeremy, and Irving, Adyson had come out of her coma and so had Coltrane. Baljeet, Ginger, Stacy, Jenny, and Django were still unconscious. The Flynn-Fletcher siblings, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Perry, and Steve had been to visit their friends every day. This was the first Sunday that Isabella was really strong enough to even be moved, so Steve had come alone this Sunday morning to see if Isabella felt up to going to mass.

"Um, really? You came all the way to the hospital at eight o'clock in the morning just to see if I felt up to going to mass?"

"Sure. It's our thing. We go to church together. Besides, I hate going alone, so driving the extra distance here was better than the short distance to the actual church and being all alone."

Isabella blushed. "Aw, Steve. You're so sweet…I think."

Steve rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah, I guess that wasn't exactly the most touching or comforting thing I could have said, but…" He dropped his hand and finally walked all the way into the room. "You want to go to mass, or not?"

Isabella shot him a look. "Why are you really here?"

"I told you why. Church in the hospital chapel."

"Steve…"

Steve sighed. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Isabella. I mean, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Buford and Baljeet, they're really good friends, too, but you're the best. I told you before, I never really had any true, real friends when I lived in Delaware. So, I'm just being a good friend in return. I wasn't sure if you'd feel up to going to mass alone, and I don't like going to mass alone, but I thought maybe if I came here, you'd be more likely to go and then I wouldn't have to be alone, either and…I don't like being alone, okay?!"

"Steve, you're rambling."

"I know! But once I get started, I can't stop. I hate being alone. I was all alone for almost three years after my parents and uncle died, and now that I have actual friends, I can't stand being alone…for any length of time. Would you call that anxiety issues?"

Isabella giggled. "I don't know. I'm not an expert on the workings of the human brain! But, since you're here, I would love to go to mass with you."

Steve physically wiped sweat off his brow and smirked. "You have no idea how relieved I am right now."

"Can you help me into the wheelchair?" She pointed to the wheelchair in question with her mechanical arm.

Steve winced. "That is still so creepy."

"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me. Just help me into the wheelchair."

Five minutes later, Steve was wheeling Isabella down the hall to the elevator.

"Oh, so Phineas and Ferb, and to a lesser extent, Dr. D, Candace and Perry, probably won't be here to visit today," Steve said.

"Why not?" Isabella asked, disappointment evident in her voice.

"They're starting their quote/unquote 'research' today. I think Phineas said it was 'branch cell' or something."

Isabella started laughing. "You mean 'stem cell'?"

"Shut up, I'm a mechanic, I'm not that smart!"

They rolled into the elevator and Steve pushed the button for the ground floor.

"Anyway, they started yesterday, so after mass, I'm gonna go find out what exactly they're up to and see if they need help."

* * *

"Help, help, help!"

Doofenshmirtz yelled out as the rolling cart he was pushing lodged on an exposed tree root and flipped over, seemingly in slow motion.

"N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O -O-"

The cart finally hit the ground and the myriad of glassware on it shattered.

"Aw, nuts!"

"Wow, Dr. D," Phineas said, "I didn't know it was possible to yell in slow motion in text."

"Is that what that was?" Candace asked.

They had arranged the three folding tables in a triangle in the backyard with the incubation chambers in the middle. Phineas, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz each had their own table so they could each work on something simultaneously and then collaborate later.

Doofenshmirtz nervously walked over to Phineas and Ferb. "Sorry, guys."

"It's okay, Dr. D. We'll just order some more."

Ferb minimized the electron microscope window on his laptop and opened the internet to order more beakers and test tubes.

Five minutes later, Ferb said, "Uh, Phineas?"

"What is it, Ferb?"

Ferb pointed to the computer screen.

"Huh. That's weird."

Candace and Doofenshmirtz were cleaning up the glass. "What's weird?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, for some reason the website won't except Ferb's credit card." The brothers looked at the screen. "Here, Ferb, try mine." Phineas handed Ferb his credit card and went back to his work station.

Five minutes later, Ferb said, "Uh, Phineas?"

"What now?"

"Your card doesn't work either."

Phineas frowned. "Okay, I'm calling Capital One."

Phineas went inside the house. Ten minutes later, he returned with a freaked out look on his face.

"Guys?"

The others looked at Phineas. They could hear fear in his voice.

"We've got a big problem."

**This is not really the best quality writing I have done thus far. I know exactly how the rest of this story is going to play out, but I could not for the life of me come up with a good beginning.**

**I'm going to give posting each chapter one at a time again. I never really liked doing that in the past, but it worked pretty well in the last story, so I'm going to give it another shot.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Steve was not expecting there to be another car in the driveway at Phineas and Ferb's house, let alone Doofenshmirtz's truck. He drifted his Mustang into the driveway at forty miles per hour like he always did, only to find that he didn't have enough room to stop with the flatbed microbus in the way.

"Yipe!"

He slammed on the brakes and wrenched the steering wheel to the left, sliding the back end around into the front yard and managing to take out a flower bed before coming to a stop a few inches from the house.

Steve shut off the engine and climbed out, leaving the car where it was.

"I didn't do it, nobody saw it, you can't prove anything."

He walked around to the backyard and opened the gate.

"Hey guys, what's goin' on and there's nobody here; why is there nobody here?"

Indeed, the backyard was empty.

Steve walked over and looked in through the sliding glass door. "Hello?" There was nobody in the living room or in the kitchen.

Steve walked back around to the front of the house and rang the door bell. After an unusually long wait, Candace finally answered the door.

"Hey, Candace," Steve said hesitantly.

"Hi," she said glumly.

"Where is everyone? And just for the record, the flower bed was like that when I got here."

Candace looked past him toward the side of the house. "Steve, your car is still sitting on it."

Steve smirked. "Don't worry, I'll fix it. Where is everyone?"

"Up in Phineas and Ferb's room. We're having kind of a crisis."

"What kind of crisis?"

Candace stood aside. "Maybe you'd better come in."

Steve entered the house and Candace closed the front door, and then led him up the stairs and down the hall to Phineas and Ferb's bedroom.

Phineas was sitting on his computer chair, backwards, looking quite dejected. Ferb was lying back on his bed with Perry on his stomach and Doofenshmirtz was holding his head in his hands, sitting on the end of Phineas's bed.

Steve actually looked slightly shocked. "Never before have I seen you guys looking so depressed."

Phineas just sighed in reply.

"Jeez, what's wrong with you guys?"

Phineas didn't say anything. He just sighed again. Ferb, for about the first time in his life, was the first one to speak up.

"We've drained our bank accounts."

"Um…okay? I think I'm gonna need some more explanation."

Candace brushed past him and sat next to Doofenshmirtz on Phineas's bed. "You want to explain, Phineas, or should I? I know Ferb doesn't."

Phineas didn't respond. Instead, he spun his chair around to look out the window.

"Guess that means I'll explain." She once again faced Steve. "We told you our mom was a pop star, right?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea where you're going with this, but yeah, I remember."

"Okay, well even though she only had one good song, it was, like, ridiculously popular. I think the album sold close to three billion copies or something. And, even though she only did five concerts, she got paid several million dollars for each one. So basically, even though she was only a one hit wonder, we're loaded. Our family is one of the richest in North America, but mom doesn't like being overly extravagant."

"Okay, I'm still lost."

Candace stretched. "Uhnnn. Okay, when I was born, my mom created a bank account for me and put a very large chunk of money in it incase anything ever happened. She did the same for Phineas and then, after she married Ferb's dad, she made one for Ferb, too."

"Oooookaaay..."

"Pretty much, as soon as mom told me about mine, I started spending it like there was no tomorrow, so mom put a restriction on my account so I couldn't spend it all. She never told the boys about theirs, but when Ferb was six, he figured out how to hack into a mainframe, and just started hacking into computers left and right. So, he found his and Phineas's accounts, but never told mom."

"Oh, so _that's_ how you guys pay for all of your crazy contraptions."

"And that's why I was always trying to bust them. I didn't want them to do…exactly what they have done now."

Phineas spun his chair around again. "We never kept track of how much we were spending on our inventions over the years. And now, we tried to order more glassware for our research…"

Ferb sat up slightly. "I have six dollars and eighty-three cents left."

"And I have twelve twenty-four," Phineas said.

"Um, okay, so what about you, Candace?" Steve asked. "Can't you lend your brothers some money?"

"Remember when I said my mom put a restriction on mine? She was supposed to take it off when I turned eighteen, but she never did. And I can't ask her to do it now because our parents decided they wanted to climb Mt. Everest and I can't contact them. No cell towers in Nepal. We haven't seen them since the beginning of February, actually."

"Dr. D?"

"I spent my alimony check for the month already. And besides, it wouldn't matter." Doof sat up and faced Steve. "We continued working for as long as we could yesterday, even after the boys found out they're broke. And, as it turns out, we need a hydraulic sheering machine, and even if we wait until my next check, we still couldn't buy one."

Steve put a finger on his chin. "How much money do you need?"

"Well, the hydraulic sheering machine is about three hundred thousand dollars, but we'll still need more after that to actually accomplish anything."

The room was quiet for a few moments. Then Steve's eyes grew wide and an ear to ear smile forced its way onto his face.

"How would five-hundred thousand do?"

The three inventors in the room looked at each other. "It'd be a start, I guess," Phineas said. We would at least be able to get back to work."

Steve snapped his fingers, still smiling. "I have an idea! Give me-" he looked at his watch. "-forty-eight hours. I'll be back!"

And with that, Steve ran out of the room, took the stairs three at a time, dove out the front door, climbed into his Mustang and took off down the street.

The silence in the room had returned. The five had no idea what to make of Steve's sudden excitement.

Doofenshmirtz finally broke the silence. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know," Phineas replied. "But now I can't wait to find out."

**Okay, I guess that was a little bit better. The next chapter is really going to start the story moving.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Tuesday, March 9, 2015_

When he heard Steve's old F-150 pull up out front, Phineas looked at his watch.

"Well, Ferb, Steve sure wasn't kidding." Ferb looked up from his computer. "When he said 'give me forty-eight hours,' he meant it. It's been exactly forty-seven hours and fifty-eight minutes since he left here on Sunday."

They both looked out the bedroom window. Steve was just climbing out of his old red truck, which was hitched to an eighteen foot box trailer.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Phineas headed for the door. "Let's go see what Steve has in store."

They left via the back door because Candace, Perry, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz were in the backyard. Doof had brought over some parts from old inators and Candace and Perry were helping him assemble some contraption from the pile of junk. They had been trying, unsuccessfully, to scratch build a hydraulic sheerinator (as Doof insisted on calling it.)

"Hey guys!" Phineas called to them. "Steve's here!"

"And he's got a trailer," Ferb added.

They all headed for the gate. Doof had been kneeling on the ground and had some difficulty standing up. Perry had to help him.

"I can't wait to see this," Candace said sarcastically.

They all walked around to the front of the house. Steve had pulled up next to the curb in front of the house instead of pulling into the driveway. He was unlocking the latch on the back of the trailer.

The trailer was plain white and very low to the ground. The back door was one solid piece and it folded down from the bottom to create a ramp.

"Hello, my friends," Steve said. "I did not lie when I said I needed 48 hours, and, thanks to a few dozen phone calls and several large money transfers, I have, in this very trailer, the solution to your money problem."

"Yeah? What is it?" Candace said skeptically. "A printing machine from the U.S. mint? Gonna just print the money as we need it?"

"First of all, Candace," Steve said, not appreciating her sarcasm, "the Federal Bureau of Engraving and Printing makes the bills. The mint makes coins."

"Oh, well, excuse me!" she snapped back.

Steve squinted at her behind his sunglasses and frowned. "Why ya gotta be like that? You have some kind of problem with me?"

"I don't have a problem with you. I just highly doubt that, in forty-eight hours, you have a solution to a problem that will require probably two to three million dollars to fix."

"I never promised you two to three million. Just five hundred thousand. But, this a solution that, if utilized properly, could expand to a multi-million dollar fix."

"Fine. What is it?"

"Yeah, come on, man!" Doofenshmirtz begged. "The suspense is killing me!"

Steve walked around to the back of the trailer again and lowered the gate. He then disappeared inside. The others could not see inside the trailer from their perspective.

A few seconds later, a cranking sound was heard, followed by the sound of an extremely loud engine roaring to life. From inside the trailer rolled a blank white stock car, rear first. The only adorning decoration was a blocky, red number "28" decal on the sides and roof, and a decal on the nose made to look like the grill from a Ford Fusion street car, complete with the blue oval emblem in the center.

Once completely out of the trailer, the engine died and Steve climbed head-first out the window. (Stock cars don't have doors.) The man smiled broadly.

"Behold! The Ford Fusion late model."

They stared at the car in the street in silence for a while before Candace finally broke the silence. "You bought a race car? Seriously?"

"Racing? That's your big plan?" Doof asked.

"Yes, seriously." Steve walked away from the car and over to join his friends. "Look, let me explain. The ARCA Racing Series runs at Talladega Superspeedway in early May and-"

"Wait, the what?" Phineas asked.

"ARCA. The Automobile Racing Club of America. Anyway, they race at Talladega on May 1st and series sponsor Menards is offering a five hundred thousand dollar bonus prize to any first time competitor who can win the race. I figure with my knowledge of car mechanics and driving skill, if you guys will be my crew, we can win the race, and you guys can use the prize money to continue your trunk cell-"

"Stem cell," Candace corrected.

"-stem cell research. And I'll finally get to live out my dream of being a semi-professional race car driver."

The others considered this for a moment. "Actually…that does sound like a fairly good idea," Candace admitted.

"No."

They all looked at Phineas.

"What?"

The triangle headed teen didn't answer right away. "No. I mean, yeah, that is a good idea, but, if anybody's gonna be the one to win that race, it's gonna be me."

Steve looked a bit shocked. "Uh, why?"

"Because I need to redeem myself. This whole thing is my fault, and I need to make up for it myself."

"Being on the team isn't redemption enough?" Steve asked.

"No. I need to do this." Phineas had a very determined look on his face.

Candace put a hand on Phineas's shoulder. "Phineas, we all keep telling you, this isn't your fault."

Phineas shrugged the hand off. "I don't care what you think. I still say it's my fault, and I'm not going feel better until I've made up for what I've done wrong."

"Then start by visiting Isabella in the hospital," Steve said. "You've been neglecting her for the past few days and she really misses you. But if you really feel like you need to do this…" He jogged back to the trailer and reached inside. He returned with a full-face helmet and a fire suit, both blank, which he held out to Phineas. "…then we have a lot of work to do."

Phineas was taken aback by the comment about Isabella. He had completely forgotten about her, even though the whole reason he wanted to do the stem cell research was to help her.

He finally accepted the gear, a sort of saddened look overtaking his determined one.

"What about the rest of you guys?" Steve asked. "You in?"

"Of course," Ferb said without hesitation.

Candace still seemed uncertain, but she finally agreed. "I'll do whatever I can to help."

Perry gave a thumbs up.

"Hmmm…" Doofenshmirtz seemed to be deep in thought. "Yeah, sure, I guess. But I am not going to be one of those guys who has to run out in front of the car while it's still moving."

"Well, alright then!" Steve said excitedly. "Lady, gentlemen, and platypus, let's go racin'!"

**And now you know why this story has a different cover, and where the title came from. More on that in the next chapter. Hope you guys like racing because if you don't, you're all gonna hate this story.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Steve loaded the race car back onto the trailer and headed back to his garage, the others all following behind him. Once there, they rolled the car into the shop and gathered around the small table in the corner.

"This is going to take a lot more planning and practice since Phineas is going to drive the car," Steve told them, "so we have to start now if we're going to be ready by May 1st."

"Hey, just out of curiosity," Candace said, pointing at the race car, "Why number 28? I would have thought for sure you would have picked 17, like on your Mustang."

"Glad you asked. First off, I didn't pick 17 because, as far as I'm concerned, 17 will always belong to Matt Kenseth. I wanted a different number to build my own legacy on. That is, if I ever get to actually drive my own car," Steve said, glaring at Phineas. "So I chose 28 because a lot of great drivers have driven it in the past: Cale Yarborough, Davey Allison, Bobby Allison, Ernie Irvan, Ricky Rudd, Buddy Baker, Charlie Glotzbach-"

"Hey, I think I know a Glotzbach!" Doofenshmirtz interjected. "Kenny Glotzbach. He was my neighbor back in Gimmelshtump! No, wait, no, his last name was Bachglotz. Never mind."

The others stared at him blankly.

"Anyway…28 hasn't been used in a few years, on the Sprint Cup level, at least, and I just like the number, so that's what I chose."

"Well, I'm glad we cleared that up," Candace said sarcastically.

Steve tossed a yellow legal pad and a pencil on the table. "Okay, for us to have a full working race team, we're all going to have multiple jobs, but on race day, we can each only have one. So, we have a driver…"

He wrote **Driver: Phineas Flynn** at the top of the pad.

"…And we're going to need six over-the-wall crew members, a crew chief and a spotter. I think you guys are going to need me as the crew chief."

**Crew Chief: Steve Marcis**

"So, how do you guys want to fill the rest of the positions? Specifically, since that only leaves four people left, do you guys have any other friends who we could get to help us?"

"We can get the rest of the Fireside Girls," Phineas said. "Adyson and Ginger obviously can't help, but Gretchen, Holly, Milly and Katie can help us."

"I've never met them," Steve said.

"Yeah, somehow, when we went to high school, they were in a different school district than the rest of us. But when Ferb and I ran the Swamp Oil 500 when we were kids, the Fireside Girls were our pit crew. I'm sure they'd be willing to help us again."

"Okay, good. But we still need two more people."

"Ferb's great with an air wrench."

They all looked at Ferb, who didn't react at all. He just blinked.

"I'll take your word for it. Front or back, Ferb?"

Ferb pondered this for a moment. "Front."

**Front Tire Changer: Ferb Fletcher**

"Okay, one more."

Perry jumped up on the table. At some point, he had put on his red PLAT trucker hat and a pair of aviator sunglasses. He had an air wrench, not connected to an air hose, grasped in both paws. He posed with it as if he were aiming a gun.

"Really?" Steve asked. Perry nodded. "How fast can you run?" Perry jumped down from the table and sprinted across the garage to where the Fusion race car sat, tagged the rear fender, and ran back. Steve timed him.

"Fifteen seconds, there and back. Ferb, I know you're fast. Can you do what Perry just did?"

Ferb repeated Perry's run while Steve timed him. "Fourteen and a half. I guess we're gonna have a platypus for a rear tire changer."

Phineas petted Perry on the back of the neck. "Are you sure about this, Perry? You've been kinda lethargic lately."

Perry stuck a toothpick in his mouth and gritted his teeth, then folded his arms dramatically.

"I think he's sure," Steve said.

**Rear Tire Changer: Perry (the platypus)**

"Assuming that the four Fireside Girls you mentioned fill the positions of both tire carriers, gas man and jack man, or rather, gas girl and jack woman-"

"Feminizing those titles makes them sound like really inappropriate superheroes," Candace said.

"Yeah, stick with gas man and jack man, dude," Doofenshmirtz put in. "We know what you mean."

"Right, so assuming they fill the other four positions, we just need a spotter."

"I could be the spotter," Candace offered.

Steve, Phineas, and Ferb all simultaneously raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Sure. I've watched NASCAR on TV with Jeremy. He's a Billy Ray Digler fan. It's pretty cool, I guess. I'm not an expert, but I know all the spotter lingo, and ARCA is basically the same thing as NASCAR, just slightly older race cars."

Steve was speechless.

"Anyone who knows Candace knows she loves to talk," Phineas added. "Isn't that, like, the spotter's only job?"

Steve considered this for a moment. "Alright. I'm good with that. It's a full team, anyway."

**Spotter: Candace Flynn**

"What about me?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Uh…I don't know. That's really all the positions that need to be filled, but just the nine of us are gonna need help working on the car. If you can just be there to help us out, or be a back up pit crew member in a pinch…"

Doof looked down, looking a bit disappointed. "Oh, okay."

"Next thing," Steve said, flipping the note pad to the next page. "I ordered some decals to put on the hood, sides, and deck lid-"

"The what?" Doof interrupted.

Steve was about to answer, but to everyone's surprise, Candace answered the question before he could even open his mouth. "The trunk lid."

Steve shook his head. "And here I could have been watching the race every Sunday with Candace and Jeremy instead of all by myself in the back room. Yes, the trunk. Anyway, this is what the stickers say."

On the legal pad, he wrote **DONATE TO STEM CELL RESEARCH **and then under that, smaller, **AT **and then bigger again under that, the web address for Phineas and Ferb's website.

"If you set up a spot on your website for people to donate, you might pull in a couple extra bucks," Steve offered. "The ARCA series doesn't have nearly as many viewers as NASCAR does, but you never know, you might get something, and every little bit helps."

"Cool!" Phineas said. "Good thinking."

"Thank you. Only thing is, the letters are all plain white, so we need to paint the car a color so people can see them. Since you're driving, you pick the color."

Phineas thought for a moment. "Hmm…can we paint the front red and then have it sort of transition to bright green in the middle and paint the back green?"

"Uh, sure, if that's what you want, I can do that."

"Awesome!"

"I get the feeling you're getting more excited about this the more we go along here," Steve said with a smile.

"I am actually quite excited about this."

"Good. I'm glad. The only thing we need now is a team name, and the only reason we need one is because it's a requirement for the entry list, and a logo, if you guys want."

"A team name huh?" Candace asked. "How about, 'Team Candace?'"

"No!" was the response around the table.

"Sheesh, fine!"

They all stared off into space, deep in thought.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" Doof said excitedly. "How 'bout, 'EVIL Motorsports?'"

"Still no!"

"I like the 'Motorsports' part, though," Phineas said. "Hmm…" He looked aimlessly around the room, his eyes eventually landing on Perry, still in his pit crew getup. "I've got it! The perfect name! 'Monotreme Motorsports!' And we can make Perry's silhouette our logo!"

Everybody considered this in their head for a moment.

"I like it," Doof said.

"It certainly is the perfect name for such a weird race team," Candace said.

"I think it's suiting," Steve said. "Well, I think that's it for today. I'm gonna go prime and paint the car. I didn't get the decals in the mail yet, but I'll wait to put them on just incase Phineas puts the car in the wall when we practice at Jefferson County Motor Speedway. I'd hate to have to order more decals."

"We're going to practice at Jeff County Speedway?" Phineas asked.

"Yeah, we're gonna need a lot of practice. We'll go to the short track in Hazel Park, too. Since you're actually _driving _the car this time, not just Ferb using a remote control, you're going to have to practice shifting, pit entry, stopping in the pit box, the girls, Ferb and Perry will have to do pit practice, track re-entry, restarts, Candace has to practice spotting and you have to learn how to interpret her instructions...There's a lot of skills you're going to have to learn and not a whole lot of time to learn them, so tomorrow and every day after school, you guys better meet me at the track. Even though Talladega is going to drive completely different from those two tracks since it's so big, the most important thing is that you log seat time. Which reminds me, we have to buy a new seat for the car."

"Why's that?"

"Because the seat in that car was specially designed to fit me. For optimal safety and comfort, every driver has a seat specifically molded to fit their individual body. We'll have to go get one to fit you."

Everybody's mood suddenly sank.

"This sounds like a lot more work than I thought it was going to be," Candace said.

"I like the idea of stealing a money printing machine from the government better," Doofenshmirtz sighed.

"No. No federal crimes. And no fancy gadgets, either. No supped up engines, no remote controls, we're doing this the right way this time."

Phineas perked up slightly. "Right. We totally flat-out cheated without even realizing it eight years ago. We have to abide by the rule book this time."

Steve smiled. "Glad to hear that."

"All right, we'll meet you at Jefferson County Motor Speedway right after school tomorrow," Phineas said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a best friend in the hospital who I have been neglecting."

"Ferb and I will go see Gretchen, Milly, Holly, and Katie," Candace said. "We'll come back here after we talk to them so you can discuss their positions with them."

"I'm going back to your guys's backyard," Doof told them. "I'm gonna keep trying to scratch build that hydraulic sheerinator, just incase this doesn't work out."

"All right, then," Steve said. "Want to help me paint the race car, Perry?"

The platypus removed his shades and cap and replaced them with a respirator.

"Awesome! See you guys tomorrow!"

"Oh, wait a sec!" Phineas said. "Ferb, Candace and I all came in the our Chevelle, and since we're all going to different places, that means we'll all have to go back to our house first so I can take the old Intrepid."

"Why don't you take Isabella's Barracuda?" Steve suggested as he and Perry headed out the back door, pointing to the black-and-purple car parked near the far wall. "It's just sitting there collecting dust. The keys are on the seat." The door closed behind them.

Phineas's eyes lit up and a smile crossed his face. "That gives me a great idea!"

**You guys all knew the gang was going racing in this series eventually, right? I spent half a chapter explaining about the Mustang's paint scheme way back in P&F Industries #1, and that was completely NASCAR related. This really shouldn't be much of a surprise.**

**Just so you know:**

**-The number 28 on the cover is what the 28 on the car is supposed to look like. It's in the style of Ricky Rudd's early 2000's Havoline car.**

**-Jefferson County Motor Speedway is the race track in the episode ****_The Fast and the Phineas_****. Doofenshmirtz says it in his monologue. Doof is also the one who mentions the racetrack in Hazel Park in ****_Mind Share. _****(It's probably a horse racing track, but I decided it's a quarter mile short track.)**

**-I borrowed the hydraulic sheering machine from a Star Wars book entitled ****_Order 66_****. The book doesn't really explain what it is or how it works, it was just mentioned in passing, but it was used in the context of talking about the cloning process, so I figure it probably has something to do with cells and multiplication.**

**-The stock car the gang will be racing has the body style of a 2006 Ford Fusion Nextel Cup car, not a modern Gen6 Ford Fusion body, which is completely different, or the Car of Tomorrow Fusion body of 2007-2012 (which actually had three different variations.)**

**-I just realized that I mentioned Vanessa briefly in episode 2, but otherwise, she's been absent. She will be making her P&F Industries debut in the next chapter. (I think, it might be the one after that.)**

**And finally**

**-If any of you said, "Phineas can't race the car. He wouldn't be eligible for the $500,000 prize because he's run in a race before, and therefore, he's not a first time competitor," here's my explanation. Assuming that the Swamp Oil 500 is a NASCAR sanctioned race, Phineas is eligible for the prize because the ARCA series is not part of NASCAR. I actually thought it was and had another explanation ready, but, as it turns out, it's not. So, since Phineas has never competed in an ARCA race before, he's eligible.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You're gonna do _what_?"

"Isabella, calm down."

Isabella tried to sit up more in the hospital bed and nearly fell over. She was still getting used to her new arms and was still fairly weak. "I will not calm down! Phineas, racing is really dangerous! What if you get hurt? Or worse?"

Phineas gave her a puzzled look. "Then why were you okay with doing it when we were kids?"  
"Because we were young and naïve back then! I didn't know how dangerous racing is back then and neither did you."

"Isabella, I looked up some stats online because I had the same concerns. Nobody has died in a stock car wreck since 2001. Drivers have been killed in Indy cars, Formula 1 cars, Sprint cars, but stock cars have gotten really safe. In fact, it would actually take a miracle for me to _get_ hurt." He paused for a moment. "That didn't come out right."

"Well, I don't care what the statistics say! I don't want you to get hurt or killed!"

Phineas fished around for something in his pocket. He dropped a small object into Isabella's mechanical hand.

"What's this?" she asked, holding a small ring up to her face.

"A glass ring," Phineas said. "You deserve a real gem, but I only had twelve bucks to work with."

Isabella sort of half-smiled at him. She looked confused.

"It's also a promise," Phineas said, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning closer to her. "A promise that I _will_ be back, that I won't get hurt, and that I will not stop until these-" he lifted one of her fake arms up. "-are gone and you have real arms again."

Isabella looked into Phineas's eyes and smiled for real. Her gaze had softened. Phineas took the ring from her and slipped it onto her right hand.

"I will not stop working until the day I can take this ring off and put it on your real flesh-and-blood finger," Phineas said, and then, as Isabella embraced him, he leaned in and kissed her. When they finally broke apart, Phineas said, "And if that means I have to get research money by racing, so be it. I'd go to the ends of the earth and back for you, Isabella."

"What about the others?"

Phineas thought about his other friends in the other rooms in the hallway, five of whom were still unconscious, nearly four weeks after their deadly encounter with Slenderman.

"I'd go to the four corners for them, but I'd only go to the ends for you."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Give me some credit, I'm trying!" Isabella laughed. Phineas stood up. "Now come on! I have a surprise for you."

"Ooh, what?"

Phineas didn't answer her question. He was looking around the room. "Where's your wheelchair?"

"Oh, the nurse put it out in the hallway when she brought breakfast in. It was in the way."

"Okay, then, no problem." To Isabella's surprise, Phineas didn't leave the room to retrieve the chair. Instead, he leaned down and lifted her up as if she weighed nothing and carried her out of the room.

He leaned back for just a second to close the door behind him before setting Isabella in the wheelchair, which was against the wall.

"Hey, Phineas," Isabella said coyly.

"Yeah?"

"You just carried me across a threshold. Well, out of a room, but still…"

Phineas gave her a confused look. "Um, okay. What's the significance of that?"

Isabella sighed. "You really are clueless, aren't you?"

"I thought we established that already?"

Phineas rolled Isabella down the hall to the elevator.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Outside."

"But Phineas, I'm not allowed to leave the hospital."

"Don't worry. I already checked with the doctors. They said some fresh air will do you good. But it's not fresh air I have in mind."

"Then what?"

"Gasoline fumes."

"Huh?"

"You'll see."

Phineas pushed the wheelchair out into the parking lot.

"Surprise!" he exclaimed, but Isabella couldn't figure out what he was showing her. It wasn't until they were right on top of it that Isabella finally noticed her black and purple car parked under a tree on the edge of the parking lot.

"Oh, Phineas! You brought my Barracuda!"

"Yup. I thought you might like to go for a ride. You've been cramped up in that hospital for so long…"

"With you, I'll go anywhere," she said with a smile.

Phineas lifted Isabella into the passenger seat, slid the wheelchair into the trunk, and then climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. The big Hemi engine roared to life and Phineas pulled slowly out of the parking lot.

A twenty minute drive took them past the outskirts of Danville and into the country. Phineas briefly considered taking Isabella's hand, but kept both hands on the wheel when he remembered that Isabella's arms were made of a cobalt alloy.

"Hey, we're out by the Danville fairgrounds," Isabella observed.

"Yup. But that's not where we're going."

The Plymouth sped past the fields and parking lot and turned left onto a back road.

"This is the road where we jumped the creek with Steve, right?" Isabella asked.

"Yes. Yes it is."

Phineas drove down the curved hill into the woods. The bridge had been repaired since the last time they were here and the ramp they had used in their jump was gone. When they reached the bridge, Phineas pulled off the road and parked by the creek bank.

"Why are we here?" Isabella asked.

Phineas got out and retrieved Isabella's wheelchair.

"Well, first, this is a pretty romantic setting. It's a beautiful, shady spot, on a beautiful day."

He lifted Isabella out of the car and into the chair. Then he pulled a blanket from behind the seat.

"I'll bet you can figure out the other reason."

He wheeled her down by the creek and spread out the blanket on the ground. Then he lifted Isabella out of the chair and set her down on it.

"Oohhh…I know," Isabella laughed nervously. "This is where I accidentally told you I love you."

"Yeah," Phineas had put the blanket on the ground so that one edge butted up to a large rock. He sat down on the blanket and leaned back against the rock, and then pulled Isabella up to sit in his lap, sitting with his arms around her. "I remember the horrified look on your face like it was yesterday. I can remember not knowing how to react, or what to say to you. And I know now that it's my fault that you let your secret slip.

"But you know what?"

Isabella turned her head to look at him.

"If I had the chance to relive that day, I wouldn't do anything different. I would be just as oblivious."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"Because if I had found out you love me any other way, it wouldn't have been as special. I'm glad you told me yourself, even if you didn't mean to."

He leaned closer. "And now, you're the most important thing on earth to me. I am willing to risk life and limb to return you, and to a lesser extent, all of our friends, to their normal selves."

He leaned even closer. "Because I love you, Isabella."

And they kissed.

**Yeah, I know chapter is short, but the next one is going to be fairly long, so I figured I would split this Phinabella scene off by itself.**

**Since Phineas mentioned race car drivers who have died,**

**R.I.P Dick Trickle and Jason Leffler, who both died this year.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Wednesday, March 11, 2015  
Monotreme Motorsports Practice, Day 1_

Phineas and Ferb drove through the tunnel under the second turn of the Jefferson County Motor Speedway to the infield and parked next to Steve's race car trailer. The race car, fully painted just the way Phineas had asked for it to be, was sitting on pit road in the pit stall closest to the start/finish line. They could see Steve by the car, preparing it for practice.

"Well, Ferb, here we are! I'm feeling the need for speed!"

"Don't get too excited," Ferb cautioned. "Auto racing isn't just about going fast. You don't want to be overzealous and hit the wall before you even get going."

"Yeah, yeah, I know Ferb."

They turned around at the sound of another car. They were surprised to see Steve's Mustang exiting the tunnel.

"That's weird. Steve can't be driving it, because he's right there," Phineas observed.

When the car parked, Candace climbed from the driver's seat. Perry was riding next to her.

"Candace? What are you doing in Steve's car?"

"He had to drive here with the trailer, but he apparently needs his car here for…something…so he asked if I would drive it here."

"Oh. Well, okay then."

A few moments later, the four former Fireside Girls pulled up in Katie's Chevy Astro van. The boys and Candace introduced them to Steve, and they all began discussing how best to position the girls on the pit crew. By the time Dr. Doofenshmirtz arrived, it had already been decided that Gretchen would be the front tire carrier, Katie would be the rear tire carrier, Holly would be the jack man, and Milly would be the gas man. And, since he had forgotten about it yesterday, Dr. Doofenshmirtz would hold the sign board that would help Phineas find his pit box, as well as using a long brush on a pole to clean off the car's grill from behind the wall.

"Hello everybody!" Doof called as he climbed out of the cab of his truck.

"Hey, Dr. D!"

The scientist walked over to Steve, who was explaining the proper jacking technique to Holly. "Since I know you said we're going to all have to have multiple jobs, I figured we could use some more help." He pointed at his truck, the passenger door to which was just now opening. "So I brought my daughter, Vanessa."

Ferb was just within earshot. He couldn't even see Vanessa, but the sound of her name made his eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. He looked up and saw the twenty-four year old climbing down from her father's truck cab. He hadn't seen her in four years, for she had gone to college in Paris.

"Hey, everybody," the gothic woman called out with a kind smile. Ferb tripped over an air hose and face planted into the ground. "Nice to see you again."

Phineas helped him up. "You okay, bro?"

Ferb had a strange wide-eyed look on his face. "Yes. Yes I am."

"Okay…"

"Apparently, she knows you guys," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said, completely oblivious to Ferb's reactions.

"Well, not quite everybody," Vanessa said. She and her father walked over to where Steve and the four former fireside girls were standing, passing within a few feet of Phineas and Ferb. "Hey, Phineas. Hey, Ferb," she said with a smile and a half wave.

Ferb fell over again.

"Vanessa, I'd like you to meet Steve and…actually, I've never met these girls, either," Doof said.

"Hi, Steve and girls my dad doesn't know."

"I'm Milly."

"I'm Holly."

"I'm Gretchen."

"I'm Katie."

Vanessa shook hands with each of the girls, then finally with Steve.

"So, you're the racing expert?" Vanessa asked.

"Yup."

"Well, how can I help?"

"Hmmm…" Steve thought for a moment, then called Ferb over. The British kid appeared a moment later, holding his laptop. Steve loaded a CD into the tray, and then Ferb held the laptop so Vanessa could see the screen.

"Okay," Steve said. "Are you good at directing people?"

"In what way?"

"I guess the best way I can describe it is choreographing."

"Uhhh…I don't know. What do you need me to do?"

The CD finally loaded and Ferb hit play, all the while trying to avoid eye contact with Vanessa, lest he lose his balance again. The video was an overhead shot of a patch of concrete, part of which was divided from the rest by a white painted rectangle. The bottom edge was bordered by a short wall, where six men, all dressed in identical black fire suits covered with sponsor patches stood. They suddenly jumped off the wall and five of them ran out to the outside of the box just a split second before a car bearing the number 11 and Fedex primary sponsor stickers slid in from the right side of the screen and stopped in the center of the box. While one began filing the gas on the left side with a huge red fuel can, the other five changed the right-side tires, each with his own specific job. When the new tires were on, they ran as fast as they could to the other side and changed the left side tires while the gas man swapped out his now empty fuel can and continued fueling with a full one. The jackman dropped the jack and pulled it back as soon as the left-side tires were on and the car left the pit box.

"This," Steve started, "is Denny Hamlin's #11 Sprint Cup pit crew. They are the best in the business. The pit stop in this video was completed in 13.1 seconds. If we're going to win this race, we are going to have to be able to service our car in under 14, with no mistakes, every time. If all the lug nuts aren't tight, or one is missing, or the car is serviced outside the pit box, Phineas will have to come back down pit road and we'll lose a ton of time to the leaders and probably fall off the lead lap.

"So the question is, Vanessa, do you think you could work with these guys? Break the stop down into little pieces and then put them all together? Practice with them until they can pit in under fourteen seconds ever single time?"

Vanessa didn't answer. She fingered the track pad and hit "replay." She watched the pit stop again, thinking hard. "Hmmm…Yeah, I can do that."

"Awesome!" Steve said excitedly. "If you can be the pit crew coach, it will give me more time to work with Phineas on his driving technique." He produced a stapled packet of papers and handed it to Vanessa. "This is all the rules, spelled out like they are in the rule book. In addition to following all these rules, you'll also have to work on different pitting scenarios, like just two tires, and making adjustments with the wrenches in the back window during the pit stop. I wrote them all down on the last page."

"No problem."

He pointed to his black and yellow Mustang. "You can use my Mustang to practice on. I put tires just like the ones on the race car on it."

"Okay."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "I know I don't really know you yet, but I find it surprising that you are so readily willing to take on such a complex project."

Vanessa shrugged. "What can I say? I like a good challenge. Besides, Ferb is on the crew, so I have him to help me."

Ferb fainted.

"Ferb!" Steve and Vanessa both shouted.

The teen very quickly woke back up, and Vanessa pulled him to his feet. "Are you alright, Ferb?" She didn't immediately let go of his hand to make sure he wouldn't fall again, and when Ferb realized she was holding his hand, he fainted again.

Phineas strolled over, now changed into his fire suit. "What's going on?" he asked Steve, as Vanessa sat the unconscious Ferb down on the pit wall so she could support him more easily.

"Ferb keeps fainting," Steve said. "Which is weird, because he's about the strongest person I know."

Phineas scanned the scene. Vanessa was crouched down to Ferb's sitting height, one hand on Ferb's shoulder, one on his forehead. "I know what's going on."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. This is a phenomenon called 'weapons-grade love.'"

"Huh?"

Phineas quickly explained Ferb's previous experiences with Vanessa. They were few and far between, and the two hadn't seen each other in over four years. "And I'm sure that the long length of time since they've seen each other has made the phenomenon even stronger."

"Oh, I get it."

At that moment, Ferb woke up again. Vanessa was so close to his face that she was all he could see.

"Ferb? Are you alright?"

He fainted again, and this time he fell backwards over the pit wall.

Steve face palmed. "This is gonna be a long day."

**I cut this chapter really short since I haven't posted in a while. (Sorry about that. I graduated high school, and then went to North Carolina for four days right after, so I haven't been able to get on the computer.) Anyway, the next chapter will just be the rest of the same day, and Phineas will (finally) get out on the race track for practice. That should be fun to write.**

**I always intended on getting Ferb and Vanessa together somehow, but never had any good ideas. This one just kind of seemed like an easy way out. I find it hilarious that he keeps tripping over himself at her sight and fainting at her touch. Thanks to foobar137 for the term "Weapons-grade love." More soon, and please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Alright, Phineas, let's strap you in and make sure you're comfortable, and then get you out on the race track," Steve said as he and Phineas left Ferb in Vanessa's capable hands and walked toward the race car. The girls and Perry, who was once again sporting his PLAT hat and sunglasses, headed over to the huge rolling tool box to retrieve their pit equipment and begin setting up for some practice of their own.

"Awesome! Finally, a chance to go fast without Ferb controlling the car from up on a flagpole."

They reached the car and Steve extracted the helmet from where it was hanging from the roll cage and then a strange looking piece of carbon fiber that looked like it fit around the neck.

"This is the HANS device," he told Phineas. "It's a head and neck restraint. It attaches to both your helmet and to your seat so that, if you crash, your neck doesn't snap like a twig."

"Yeah, no snapping of bones, please."

Phineas put the HANS device over his neck and then climbed in through the window and into the seat. He picked up the steering wheel from the dashboard and slid it into place on the steering column, making sure that it was straight.

"How do you feel in there?" Steve asked. "If you feel like you need to, we can adjust the position of the steering wheel and the pedals. And just so you know, you should keep one foot on the pedal and one foot on the brake. Don't use just your right foot. You can react quicker if you drive with both feet."

Phineas put both hands on the wheel and his feet on the pedals. "I feel pretty comfortable. The steering wheel feels a bit close, but my arms are kinda short, so it's probably good if it's closer. I'll have more leverage to turn."

"Good. Alright, lets get you all strapped in."

Phineas put in his ear plugs that doubled as speakers for the radio, then pulled on his helmet. Steve leaned in to connect the HANS device to the helmet and seat and connected the radio wire to the output jack on the side of headrest.

"This little square button on the steering wheel is the radio. Just hold it in and me and Candace will be able to hear you. Oh, speaking of which, hold on a sec."

He called Candace over.

"What's up?" she asked.

Steve handed her a headset with a microphone and a receiver with a belt clip.

"Here's your radio gear. We're going to get Phineas out on the race track, so you'd better head up to the top of the front stretch grandstands."

"Gotcha." She hurried off at a steady jog toward the turn 2 tunnel.

Steve leaned back into the car. "Okay, you should be all set to go. Don't drive off until I get behind the wall and do a radio check."

"Great! Let's go!" Phineas reached for where the key should have been to start it, but there was no key. There was no ignition at all. "Um, how do you start it?"

Steve directed Phineas's attention to the row of metal toggle switches on the far left side of the dash. He placed his fingers on the two closest to the steering wheel. "This one is the ignition. Hold this one up, and then hold up this one that's labled 'start.' Once the engine turns over, let go and then you can just turn all the other switches on and you don't have to worry about them."

"Got it."

Steve hopped over the pit wall and, while he was putting on his headset and mic, Phineas held up the two switches. The Roush-Yates power plant roared to life.

A few yards away, Ferb regained consciousness with a start, which startled Vanessa. Vanessa fell backwards and, as she had been holding Ferb up with her hands on his shoulders, accidentally pulled him off the pit wall down on top of her.

"Hehe…hey Ferb," she said, smiling nervously, for his face was only about an inch away from hers.

Phineas gave the gas a few hesitant taps and revved the engine, watching the tachometer needle spring up and down as he did.

A voice crackled in his earpiece. _"Radio check, one, two. Can you hear me, Phineas?"_

Phineas pressed the little square button on the steering wheel with his thumb. It was placed so that he could key the radio without having to take his hands off the wheel. "Loud and clear, Steve!"

_"Can you hear me, Candace?"_

_"I gotcha."_

_"Did you make it up to the top of the grandstands yet?"_

_"Almost. Give me a second."_

Ferb was struggling not to pass out again. He carefully rolled over to one side off of Vanessa, ending up on his back. Vanessa stood up and then turned to help Ferb.

"Need a hand?" she asked.

He quickly looked away from her and struggled to his feet by leaning on his forearms. Seeing him stand on his own power, Vanessa turned away and watched the red and green race car on pit road. Ferb stood next to her and watched his brother preparing to drive off, struggling not to look at the beautiful girl next to him.

_"Okay…I am at the top…Why don't they build these grandstands with elevators?" _Candace panted.

_"Because that would take the fun out of it," _Steve replied. _"Okay, Phineas. Go out and take some practice laps, but don't go full force right away. You know, wind it up to fourth gear, but take it slow. Get a feel for how much you're gonna have to slow down in the corners, how far you can drive it in before you have to hit the brakes, how early you can get back in the gas, you know. The last thing you want to do is put the car in the wall on the first lap, so take a couple laps to see how the car is driving, how much grip the track has, and go a little bit faster each lap until you're up to speed. I'll time you, so I can tell you when you're running laps close to real competition lap times." _

"Okay. I'll try."

_"Oh, and when you shift, don't use the clutch. You'll accelerate faster, and in a real race, every tenth of a second you can shave off counts."_

"Alright," Phineas said. "Here we go."

He placed his right hand on the shifter and carefully moved it to first gear. He slowly stepped on gas pedal and the Ford Fusion rolled smoothly out onto the race track. 

**Once again, I decided to cut this chapter short, this time just because there's a whole lot of information that doesn't really have anything to do with the plot. I didn't want to leave any of that stuff out because I want the story to be realistic. Let's face it. If you had to teach someone how to race who has no prior experience and has no idea what's going on, you wouldn't skip over stuff. You'd explain everything. So I did.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_Friday, March 19, 2015  
Monotreme Motorsports Practice, Day 8_

Had the it been painted any other way, the old Mustang would have looked a bit strange driving around the Jefferson County Motor Speedway, but with numbers and colors mimicking Matt Kenseth's NASCAR ride, and at speeds matching the real race car behind it, it seemed to belong.

Steve piloted his Mustang just in front of Phineas in the Fusion. Doofenshmirtz, standing on the pit wall with a stopwatch and Steve's headset, called out the lap times to Phineas as the cars streaked past.

_"Forty-six oh three. Wait, how could that lap be double all the other laps you've run? Oh, silly me, I forgot to push the 'lap' button on the watch. Sorry."_

Phineas had quickly grasped the basics of navigating the race track at speed, and now Steve was on track with him so Phineas could learn how to pass, and more importantly, how to drive around other cars without causing a wreck. Since the Mustang was the closest thing they had to another race car, being that it had a NASCAR engine in it anyway, it made a good stand in.

Phineas had now been trying to pass Steve for forty circuits, but he had only managed to pull even with the Mustang. Then Steve would shoot back past and Phineas would have to reel him in again.

On the backstretch, Phineas kept his car perfectly in line with the Mustang, and when they reached turn three, dove to the bottom of the track, skirting the apron with the left side tires. He managed to pull next to Steve again, but had to brake hard when the car started to slide up the banking. He was going too fast to make the corner, and would have hit the Mustang had Steve not slammed on the brakes.

_"Clear, all clear," _Candace's voice came over the radio.

"Ha! I finally got 'im!" Phineas called.

At his slow speed, Steve was able to turn down under Phineas-

_"Coming on the bottom," _Candace said. _"Inside."_

-and quick acceleration off the corner shot him back ahead of Phineas.

"Dang it!"

_"Ugh. Clear."_

Phineas hit the gas hard and nearly slapped the wall off the corner.

_"Sixty-nine eleven," _Doof said. _"Oh, forgot to hit 'lap' again. Sorr-"_

"Give me that!" Vanessa said as she snatched the stopwatch from her father's hand. She pulled the radio headset off his head and placed it on her own. "It's my turn, now."

Doofenshmirtz glared at her angrily. "Don't you have a pit crew to coach?"

"No. I need a car for the crew to practice on, and the only two cars we have for practicing are currently on the race track." Vanessa reset the stopwatch. She turned around for a second. The girls and Perry were all sitting on the bed of her father's truck, watching the action on the track. Ferb, however, was standing just behind her on the ground. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He felt woozy, but he remained upright.

The cars screamed past again. Phineas was getting frustrated and was on the gas really far into the corner, meaning he had to use a lot of brake to slow the car down. Yet somehow, the harder he drove, the further away the Mustang in the windshield seemed to get.

_"Twenty-four oh four," _Vanessa called out. A slow lap time.

Phineas didn't even notice. He drove the car down until the left side tires dropped off the banking in the corner and then put the brake all the way to the floor. The car was going way too fast to turn and slid almost all the way to the wall, even though Phineas was riding the brake and turning the wheel as far left as it would go. When the corner leveled out and he came onto the backstretch, the right side gently brushed the wall.

Phineas gritted his teeth and floored the gas pedal. The car rocketed down the backstretch. Phineas cranked the wheel to enter turn three, but suddenly, the car wouldn't steer! There was a loud _bang!_ that was actually audible over the engine and the car headed straight for the wall. Phineas shut his eyes and braced for impact, gripping the wheel as hard as he could.

The car bounced off the wall and then hit a second time. Phineas pushed the brake as the car rode along the wall, finally coming to a stop in the middle of turn four.

_"Phineas! Are you okay! Phineas?" _Candace asked.

Phineas wasn't hurt, but he had been taken so much by surprise that he felt a little disoriented. It took him a moment to find the radio button on the steering wheel.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm okay."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The gang looked at the right side of the damaged Ford Fusion race car. The paint had been scared and scraped down the whole side, the aerodynamic contours of the metal flattened. The right front tire, which was flat, was toed out from the bottom. About fifteen degrees.

"Well, it can't be any clearer than that," Steve said.

"What do you mean?" Phineas asked.

"You blew the right front tire."

The Goodyear tire appeared shriveled and held no air.

"How did I make the tire blow?"

"You were pushing too hard. I could see how you were driving. One of the most important things about racing is to not get frustrated. When you get frustrated, you make mistakes."

Phineas sighed. "I guess after chasing you around for forty or fifty laps, I was getting kind of annoyed that I couldn't get past."

Steve bent down next to the tire and examined it. "Hmm…Ferb?"

Ferb picked up his air gun and dropped to his knees beside the car, his kneepads taking the force of the fall. He quickly removed all five lug nuts and pulled the disheveled tire from its mount. When he did, a cloud of black dust seemed to explode out from the wheel well.

"*cough* Thanks, Ferb." Steve examined the back of the tire. The others leaned over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. "Yeah. Just as I thought."

"What?" Phineas asked.

"The tire didn't wear out. I mean, at this track, the tires ought to last close to a hundred laps, even if you were driving really hard. This tire didn't wear out. It's still in good shape. But, all the air came out of it. You melted the bead."

"What exactly does that mean?" Katie asked.

"It means Phineas was using too much brake. The heat from the brakes melted the bead on tire, which is the seal between the wheel and the tire, and all the air escaped. It doesn't slowly leak out, it explodes out all at once because of the pressure in the tire. That's why there was that big cloud of dust when Ferb took off the tire. It was brake dust."

Phineas looked skeptical. "Okay…so how do I correct that problem?"

Steve stood and wiped the dust from his hands. "Well, you won't really have to worry about it at Talladega 'cause you won't have to use the brakes at all. But here and now…" He thought for a moment. "You were turning with the brake, weren't you?"

"I was turning with the wheels."

"Well, yeah. You guide the car with the front wheels, but you make the car turn, turn better, with the brake or the throttle. When you go through the corner, if you hit your marks right, you should be able to get back in the gas and the car will turn easier. If you don't you have to slow down extra with the brake to make the car turn."

"Right…?"

"I think if you back up your corner…that is, get out of the gas sooner, do more of your braking before you actually start turning, you can let the car roll through the center of the corner and accelerate off. It'll actually make your times faster. You can also adjust the brake bias to the rear just a little bit so the rear brakes take more of the force. But just a little bit, because otherwise you'll spin out when you hit the brakes."

Phineas looked back at his pancaked race car. "Okay. I'll try it."

"Not today, though, 'cause now I have to fix the side here."

* * *

Phineas entered the hospital room slowly. "Hi, Isabella."

Isabella muted the TV and turned to smile at her boyfriend. "Hey, Phineas. Whatchadoin'?"

"I wrecked today."

* * *

Ferb was laying on the couch reading when Phineas stumbled into the house at almost ten o'clock that night. "Well? How's Isabella?"

Phineas turned to him, a weary look in his eyes. "She's definitely got more strength back, which was clearly evidenced in her volume."

Ferb raised an eyebrow.

"She chewed me out when I told her I crashed."

Ferb gave him a knowing look and returned his attention to his book. Phineas collapsed onto the rug on the floor, lying flat out on his stomach.

"I don't think she understood that it wasn't really a crash, more as it was a fender-bender. For such a mild-mannered and sweet girl, she can sure muster some force from her vocal chords." There was a slight pause, and then he said, "Oh, and Stacy and Django came out of their coma today."

Excited for news of his friends, Ferb looked down at Phineas, expecting his brother to say something else, but he had fallen asleep.

* * *

_Monday, March 23, 2015  
Monotreme Motorsports Practice, Day 12_

"So how's it going on your end?" Steve asked Vanessa.

"So far, so good." She was looking at another clip of an old NASCAR pit stop on her laptop, this one of Martin Truex Jr.'s pit crew. "Hmm…Holly?"

Holly turned from her conversation with Gretchen. The girls, Perry, and Ferb were sitting in the shade of the large rolling tool box, awaiting instructions. "Yes, Vanessa?"

"I think you need to try holding the jack the other way around. I mean, flip around the other way it in your hands."

Holly stood and picked up the heavy jack. "Like this?"

"Yes. That way, you should be able to position it directly under the jackstop more easily."

"Okay, I'll try it."

Steve leaned against the card table Vanessa had brought to put her laptop on. "I'm impressed. Not so much that you're doing a good job, but that you're so…committed, I guess. You're really…into it."

She stood, smiling. "Well, it's not that hard. Just planning and organization. The speed is up to them."

She walked over to her team, who were once again using Steve's Mustang to practice on. "Okay, Holly, give that a try by yourself. Just run around the car and jack it up, then let it down and do the other side, as if it was a real stop, just without anything being done to the car. Then we'll get Perry, Ferb, Gretchen and Katie in there to actually change the tires."

Steve watched with interest. Phineas walked up behind him. They watched in silence for a while before Phineas spoke up.

"You know what I just realized?"

"What's that, Phineas?"

"We weren't supposed to let the girls know about Perry's secret identity. Yet, here they are, working on a pit crew with him."

"Oh well," Steve said. "Can't do anything about it now."

They turned and walked over to the race car on pit road. Steve strapped on his headset as Phineas climbed into the car. Steve noticed Dr. Doofenshmirtz standing off to the side, looking a little bit lost.

"Dr. D?"

The scientist perked up. "Yes, Steve?"

Steve tossed him the stop watch. "Here, record lap times for me so I can focus on what Phineas is doing on-track."

"Really? Even after I messed up last time?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, nothing. Let's get this party started!"

Steve rolled his eyes and handed Doof a clip board for him to record the lap times on. "It's just practice. It's not that exciting." He jumped over the wall and helped Phineas strap into the race car. He jumped back as the engine fired up.

"Ready up there, Candace?" he said into his mic.

_"I'm ready."_

"Okay, Phineas. Go ahead."

The race car rolled off pit road. Steve and Doofenshmirtz watched it head off into turn one. "Another day, another chance for Phineas to hit something," Doof said.

Steve glared at him.

"What?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_Tuesday, March 31, 2015  
Monotreme Motorsports Practice, Day 20_

_"Don't forget, twenty-five hundred in second gear."_

"Yes sir!" Phineas dropped down off the banking and braked hard, down shifting as he did.

The team was doing pit practice at Hazel Park Speedway, changing facilities because this track was so small. It made practice faster because it took less time to circle the track and make it back to pit road. At the moment, Phineas was practicing pit entry and exit and stopping in the pit box while the pit crew watched. It was important that they get a feel for how Phineas made his entry.

Stock cars don't have a speedometer, so drivers have to judge their pit road speed by the tachometer. Phineas looked at the needle. He was going too fast for a legal pit entry and only had another thirty feet to slow down. He slammed on the brakes and locked up the front tires. The car stopped turning as it slid over the commitment line and onto pit road. Phineas quickly let off the brake and cranked the wheel hard, scarcely managing to keep the car from hitting the outside pit wall.

_"Easy there, Phineas. Did you get down to speed, at least?" _

"Barely, but yes."

_"Well, as long as you didn't hit anything, that was pretty good."_ Steve, sitting on top of the tool box for a better view down pit road, watched the #28 Ford slowly grow closer, keeping an eye on the pit boxes Phineas was passing. When Phineas was five boxes away from the one they were using for practice, Steve counted them down to help guide Phineas to his stall. Here, it was kind of pointless, since it was obvious which pit stall was his, marked by the sign dangling from a pole that Doofenshmirtz was holding out over it. During a race, though, where thirty other crews line the wall up and down pit road, it's easy for a drive to miss his stall.

_"Five…four…three…two…one-right here."_

Phineas turned gently to the left into the pit box and braked. The car slid to a stop perfectly aligned in the box. The gang all cheered.

_"That was perfect, Phineas!"_

"Why, thank you!"

_"Yup. Only took thirty-two tries to get it perfect. Okay, pull off and take a few laps while the girls, guy, and semi-aquatic mammal that call themselves your pit crew get ready, and we'll try an actual pit stop."_

"Roger!" Phineas peeled out, but was careful to watch his tach. As soon as the car crossed the white line painted across the end of pit road, he opened the throttle back up and accelerated to race speed.

* * *

_Friday, April 3, 2015  
Monotreme Motorsports Practice, Day 23_

The fire suits worn by Perry, Ferb, and the four former Fireside Girls were just like the one Phineas wore, except for Milly, who wore a special apron over hers to protect her from spilled fuel. The helmets they wore were just like the racing helmet Phineas wore, except their's didn't have eye shields or a microphone for the radio. They did, however, each wear ear pieces, and they could hear everything Phineas and Steve said to each other. This was important during the race so that Steve could make last second strategy calls right before a pit stop.

Phineas drove down pit road at forty-five miles per hour, or, to him, tweny-five hundred rpm, second gear. The team stood on the wall, watching the car approach. Behind them, Vanessa stood with a stop watch, ready to time them.

_"Five…four…three…two…on-"_

Before Steve could finish the word "one," they sprang into action. Holly, Ferb, and Gretchen ran out in front of the slowing Ford Fusion to where the right side of the car would be in just a split second. Holly carrying the twenty-five pound jack, Ferb with his air gun, and Gretchen lugging a nearly sixty-five pound tire. Perry, Katie, and Milly jumped off the wall near where the back of the car would be. The platypus and blondie had to wait until the car passed to run around to the right side while Milly pushed the first heavy fuel can into the receptor on the left side rear fender.

As Holly placed the jack under the car and gave the long handle one good pump, lifting the thirty-four hundred pound race car an inch off the ground, Ferb and Perry dropped to their knees, their heavy knee pads taking the force of the fall to the concrete. They removed all five lug nuts from their respective tires in exactly one second. Ferb dropped his gun and pulled off the heavy tire with both hands. Perry did not. Instead, Holly grabbed the tire and pulled it off. Gretchen and Katie each shoved the new tire onto the wheel hub and Ferb and Perry quickly picked up their guns and hit the five lugs that were held loosely to the new wheel with a special glue. Holly watched them both carefully, and as soon as all five lug nuts had been installed, she dropped the jack and scooped it up.

They all ran around to the left side of the car, Gretchen and Katie rolling the old tires back to the wall as Dr. Doofenshmirtz took the empty can from Milly and handed her a full one, weighing in at ninety-two pounds. Gretch and Katie each grabbed another tire from where they had been placed on the pit wall, prepared to place theirs on the empty hub. As soon as the lug nuts had been screwed on, Ferb and Perry leaned back from the car and Holly, watching with eagle eyes, dropped the jack and pulled it out by the handle. Milly pulled the gas can out, a small shower of 93 octane spilling from the end of the can.

The very instant Phineas felt the left side tires hit the ground, he took his foot off the brake and slammed the gas pedal to the floor. The rear wheels spun in a cloud of white tire smoke as the Fusion flew out of the pit box.

Vanessa clicked off the stop watch and looked at the digital readout. After three days of nonstop on-track pit practice with Phineas actually drivin in and out of the pit box, they had done it.

"Steve!" she called. She didn't wait for him to reply. As soon as he turned to face her, she tossed the stop watch at him.

He fumbled for it, and barely managed to save it from falling to the ground. He turned it over and looked at the numbers. "Twelve-point-eight seconds." He grinned broadly at Vanessa. "Perfect."

**Even if you don't agree that NASCAR drivers are athletes (which they are) you can't argue that their pit crews aren't. This was not easy to describe with words because it happens so fast, so I encourage you all to watch this video on YouTube: search for "NASCAR on SPEED - Anatomy of a Pit Stop"**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_Wednesday, April 15, 2015  
Monotreme Motorsports Practice, Day 35_

In the waning light of the setting sun, the Ford vs. Ford showdown at Jefferson County Motor Speedway was heating up. As the days until the ARCA race at Talladega Superspeedway quickly diminished and the team ran out of practice days, every waking moment was spent at the track. The instant school let out, the gang rushed to converge at the track and would be there until it became too dark to see. On weekends, everyone (except Dr. Doofenshmirtz) would be at the track before the sun even came up.

The ongoing showdown between Phineas and Steve was Steve's last effort to teach Phineas how to drive smoothly. Phineas could drive lap after lap without a mistake when he was on track alone, but against an opponent, he had trouble pacing himself. They started on the exact opposite sides of the track from each other and the race would last until Candace couldn't see the cars to spot for Phineas anymore, or until one driver caught and passed the other.

After running so many laps that both cars ran out of gas, neither had gained an advantage on the other. While Phineas was a bit frustrated that he hadn't been able to catch up to Steve, Steve praised him for not giving up any ground, either.

So, they started again, this time with Phineas just three car lengths behind Steve. Now, as the light dwindled the Fusion had closed in on the Mustang.

Phineas dove into turn one, hard on the brakes, trying desperately to get a run on Steve. Like before, he had to slow down a lot to avoid sliding up into the Mustang and he lost a bit of ground to his opponent.

"Wheeeew. Deep breath. Easy, there, Phineas," he said to himself. "Don't overdrive it like you did last time."

_"Phineas, why are you talking to yourself?"_ Candace's voice asked.

Phineas took a split second glace down at his hands. He was unconsciously thumbing the radio key.

"Whoops. Sorry."

As they drove off into turn three, Phineas thought to himself for a moment. _Okay, when we started, I closed the gap between me and Steve in about two laps. If I pass him the same way I caught him, I should be able to complete the pass in two laps. _

Phineas accelerated down the front stretch as close to the wall as he could, making the straight as long as possible, and allowing him to build more speed. He let out of the throttle before he turned the wheel and rode the brake at about half capacity all the way through turn one. When turn one became turn two, he let off the gas and coasted. The car started to slide up the banking just a little.

_Turn with the throttle… Turn with the throttle…_

He slowly pushed the accelerator to the floor and the car moved back to the left. He drove it up to the wall out of the corner, no longer having to fight the wheel. He got a big run, and closed the gap on Steve almost instantly.

_Ha. Gotcha now._

* * *

_Off the gas, little brake…let it roll, let it roll, let it roll, hard on the gas- Too hard, back off!- Now floor it! _

Phineas was thinking every step to himself as he drove through turns three and four, and when he made it to the backstretch, turned down under the Mustang baring the number 17. He had gotten a good run and his Fusion had the favorable line and more momentum off the corner.

_He's next to you now, so just take it easy into the turn…don't want to wreck both of us…here we go, off the gas…let it roll…brakes…brakes…Turn with the throttle! Come on! That's it, on the gas! Hard off! _

"You're all clear, Phineas!"

Candace called into the radio.

_Hard, hard, hard, hard, hard! _

He let the car's momentum carry it up the track off the corner and up in front of Steve.

"HA HA! I got 'em!"

_"Way to go, little brother!"_

* * *

The air gun squealed as Ferb removed the right front tire from the number 28. He pulled it off and handed it to Steve, who crouched down and compared it to another tire, the right front off his Mustang. He looked over the whole tire, from the contact patch to the sidewalls. He picked up a small blow torch from the ground and a putty knife. He heated up a small section of the contact patch and then used the putty knife to scrape off the built up rubber. He did the same to the tire from his car.

Steve stood and turned to the group. Everyone, except Ferb, who was still kneeling next to the race car, was gathered around, waiting for news. Phineas stood the closest, the rest of the crew standing just behind him, anxious and expectant looks etched on their faces.

Steve smiled. "Your tire wear looks just like mine. For the number of laps we ran, it's perfect."

A round of "Yes!" fist pumps, and small cheers came from the group. Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz hi-fived.

"Phineas Flynn, you are ready to tackle Talladega."

**Next chapter: Pack up the trailer. Let's go racing! (Boy, it took a long time to get here.)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry, I lied. Have to do one more chapter before we get to the track. Forgot: they can't leave without saying goodbye to their friends! I'm not going to write them saying goodbye to everyone, of course, because that would take a really long time. Just the majorly important ones. How could they leave without one more Phineabella scene?**

Chapter 12

_Tuesday, April 28, 2015_

Candace

Jeremy was among the lucky few who had been sent home from the hospital, along with Buford and Irving, the later of which had made a surprisingly fast recovery. Candace knocked gently on the door to Jeremy's bedroom as she cracked it open. Her fiancé struggled out of sleep's persistent grasp and smiled.

"Hello, my guardian angle," Jeremy whispered.

Candace frowned. "Explain your nickname, sir."

"Well, I guess you aren't my guardian angle. You're Phineas's."

"More explanation, please."

"Okay, you're Phineas's guardian. You're an angel because you're really high up. And you're cute, but not to Phineas."

Candace stared at Jeremy blankly.

"You're Phineas's spotter. You tell him where the other cars are to protect him. You're his guardian. And you have to stand up on top of the grandstands to see, really high up. Like an angel. Guardian angle."

"Ohhhhhhhh. Okay, I get it." She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "You should have led off with that."

Jeremy laughed, then quickly clutched his side with his mechanical left arm when he felt pain. He leaned gently back into the pillow. "Have you heard anything about the others? I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone to find out."

Candace grinned. "They're all awake. No one is comatose any longer. Ginger was the last one, two days ago."

Jeremy smiled weakly. "That's good."

The young couple stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, silence filling the air between them.

"I really wish I could go with you," Jeremy said. "I'd love to be a part of the team."

"I wish you could come, too. I'm gonna be stuck with my brothers, a platypus, an evil scientist and his daughter, and four girls that I have had very little interaction with for an eleven hour car ride to Alabama. Oh, and Steve."

"Speaking of which, how are you guys getting there? What are you, renting a bus, or something?"

"We don't have money to rent a bus. Steve is driving his truck down because he has to tow the trailer that carries the race car and most of the tools, and Phineas and Ferb are going to ride with him. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is driving his VW truck…bus…thing because he's going to carry everything that doesn't fit in the trailer. Vanessa was supposed to ride down with him, but she isn't really keen to the idea of being stuck with her father for eleven hours, so she and I, and Perry, are riding down in my car, and then Katie is driving everyone else in her van, which I think is probably going to end up carrying all the team uniforms."

"You're gonna have a regular convoy!" Jeremy exclaimed. "Yet another thing that I'd like to be a part of."

Candace smiled. "Isn't it ironic that we're doing all this cool stuff _because_ you guys all got mortally wounded, and because of that, you can't come?"

"Yes, yes it is. It downright sucks. When are you leaving?"

"We're all meeting at Steve's garage at three a.m. tomorrow and leaving from there."

"Wow. Early. Now I'm glad I'm not going."

Candace gave Jeremy a playful hit on his remaining organic leg. Then she stood up. "Well, I gotta go home and pack. I don't have the slightest idea what to pack for a race."

"Well, you're a spotter, right?"

"Right…"

"You're going to be up on top of the grandstands, above everyone else in the bright, hot, Alabama sun."

Candace looked confused.

"Sunscreen. Lots and lots of sunscreen."

Candace laughed and gave Jeremy a gentle kiss, then said goodbye and left for home.

* * *

Steve

"Aw, man!" Buford cried. "I want to work on the race car!"

"And I want to drive the race car," Steve said. "But, if this all goes well, Phineas will feel he has earned redemption, he and Ferb will finish their root cell research-"

"I think it's 'stem cell,' dude."

"Why do I have so much trouble with that? Anyway, they'll re-grow everybody's 'parts' and then they'll probably go on to do other things, like college, or something, and I sorta doubt Candace will want to stay a part of it, or Vanessa, or Dr. D, or any of the girls, and when I want to actually get in the car and race, I'll need you on my crew."

"Awesome!" Buford's eyes drifted to the fish bowl on his dresser. "And Biff can be the team's mascot!"

"Uh…that position has kinda already been claimed by Perry."

Buford crossed his arms and frowned. "Mmnumb…dumb platypus."

* * *

Phineas

"Please be careful, Phineas. Promise me you'll be careful!"

Phineas started to take Isabella's hands, then stopped when he brushed against the cold metal. He put his hands on her shoulders instead. "Isabella, I told you, I'm not going to get hurt."

"Just promise me."

"Why do you think I gave you that ring?"

"Promise me!"

"Isabella, I-"

"Promise!"

Phineas sighed. He raised his right hand. "I, Phineas Flynn, promise that I will return on Sunday morning, both uninjured and victorious!" He leaned closer. "And you get to keep the trophy."

Isabella wanted to laugh, to giggle, even to smile, but she just couldn't bring herself to. She was afraid for the safety of the man that she loved.

Phineas put an arm around her neck, enjoying the feel of her silky hair, re-grown to about half it's original length. The sensation of his skin against hers managed to bring a small smile to Isabella's face.

She looked into his eyes, brimming with kindness and confidence. Her smile grew. He gently pulled her up off the bed into a kiss.

When their lips touched, Isabella's worries grew. But they changed. Thoughts began to swirl around in her head, and she acted on them. She put her mechanical arms around Phineas's neck and pulled him down as he pulled up, putting as much passion and emphasis into the kiss as she could. Just incase…

Phineas finally broke away from the kiss and inhaled deeply. "Wow," he gasped.

They said their goodbyes and Phineas left, Isabella never taking her eyes off him until he was gone from her sight. If he didn't come back, she didn't want to forget what he looked like.

And she for sure didn't want to forget how sweet his kiss was.

**Okay, ****_now _****the next chapter will be at the track. Talladega, baby!**

**Congrats for the second time this week to Matt Kenseth on winning the Subway Firecracker 250 at Daytona on Friday night. As the driver who has a better average finish than other driver at restrictor plate tracks in the last eight plate races, and has led more laps than other driver at restrictor plate tracks in the last eight plate races, I propose a new nickname for Mr. Kenseth: "The Restrictor Plate King," a title formerly held by Dale Earnhardt Jr.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_Thursday, April 30, 2015_

Phineas yawned. He was exhausted from the eleven-turned-thirteen hour drive from Danville. An accident had brought traffic to a complete standstill for over an hour somewhere in Tennessee. Worse was when they got to the track and realized that no one had had the foresight to call and make reservations at a hotel near the track a month ago, for every hotel was booked solid with race fans.

"Wow. I had no idea the ARCA Racing Series had so many fans," Phineas had said when they arrived and found no where to stay the night.

"It doesn't. ARCA runs Friday, the Cup Series runs Sunday. They're all here for the Cup race," Steve said.

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?" Candace asked.

Vanessa added, "Yeah, it's already dark and we don't even have a tent to sleep in."

They all thought for a moment. Ferb was the one who finally said, "I have an idea." Everyone looked at him expectantly. "Which garage stall is ours?"

They fetched the tarp that they brought to cover the race car if it rained and spread it out on the floor in garage stall number slept on the hard concrete floor in the pitch dark of the otherwise empty garage.

Phineas didn't get much sleep, and unfortunately, this morning was the only practice session for the ARCA Series. It would be Phineas's only chance to get a feel for the track and learn how to drive with more than just Steve's Mustang around him. At such high speeds, other cars moving around near him could cause the car to become aerodynamically upset, and he needed to learn how to cope with those effects. The last thing he wanted to do this morning, though, was climb in a race car and go two hundred miles per hour.

"Argh! My back!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz moaned as he walked past Phineas on his way to use the port-a-potty.

"You okay, Dr. D?" Phineas asked.

"Do I look okay to you?"

The oldest member of the group was hunched over, one hand on his hip as he stumbled along, a pained look on his face.

"No, I guess you really don't."

"Gee, thanks," Doof said sarcastically.

Phineas stumbled over to where Katie had parked her van and fetched his fire suit and helmet from inside. Once he had changed, he walked back to the garage area carrying his helmet, where he found Steve waiting for him.

"All ready to go, Phineas?" Steve asked, a yawn escaping from his mouth as well.

"I guess."

"Well, there's one more thing I have to show you before you go out for practice. I couldn't teach you this back home because the tracks we had to practice on weren't big enough."

The twenty-three year old produced two small model race cars. He placed them on the ground, in a line. Then he grabbed a square metal plate that had four congruent holes in it, arranged in a square. He handed this to Phineas. "Here at Talladega, every car is required to have one of these. It's called a 'restrictor plate.'"

Phineas turned it over in his hands. It was thin but rigid steel, just a little larger than his hand. "What's it for?"

"It has to be installed over the air intake on the engine."

"Why?"

"Well, since this track is so big, like I told you before, you can run wide open all the way around for the entire race. You don't ever have to slow down. But because of that, without this plate, you'd hit speeds probably over two-thirty."

"Yikes."

"At those speeds, if you got turned around, the car would just lift off the ground and flip over. If it happens in the tri-oval on the front stretch, you could sail into the catch fence, and if the fence doesn't hold, your three-thousand pound race car could end up in the grandstands."

Phineas's face contorted into an expression of sudden fear. "Oh."

"So, every car must have one of these plates." Phineas handed the restrictor plate back to Steve. "But putting it over the air intake, horsepower is cut and speeds are kept down around two-hundred. You still could end up air-borne, but it's a lot less likely."

Now Phineas looked confused. "But if every car has one of these, and no one ever has to lift off the gas, how is anyone supposed to pass?"

Steve smirked. "I'm gonna show ya."

He pushed his Ford Racing hat back on his head and gestured to the model cars on the ground. One was Matt Kenseth's 17 car, of course, the other was Carl Edwards's number 99. The 99 car had been placed in front.

"Have you ever put your hand out the window when you're driving and held it right behind the side-view mirror?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Did you notice that when you do that, you can't feel the wind on your hand anymore?"

Phineas frowned. "Yes, I have. It's because the air gets moved by the mirror, and then there isn't any air directly behind it. Put more simply, it blocks the wind."

"Exactly. Now imagine you're going two hundred miles per hour." Steve put a hand on the 17 model. "The effects are a lot greater. If you're behind another car going the same speed you are, the car in front pushes all that air out of the way. It creates a vacuum, like a slip stream, behind it. That means that there's a lot less resistance on the car behind it, and the second car will go faster." He slowly moved the 17 car closer to the back bumper of the 99. "If you pull out from behind the car creating the vacuum at just the right moment-" He moved the 17 car to the left and pushed it in front of the 99. "You can slingshot around it."

"Oh, that's pretty cool!" Phineas said.

"It's called 'drafting.' But, it isn't really as simple as that, or nearly as dramatic as I made it out to be with these models. This only really works to take the lead. When forty cars get out on the track together, the whole field is going to end up in two or three lines. Don't worry, you should still be able to hold it wide open and not run up on the guy in front of you. Don't take my word for it, though, I'm just speculating. What you're going to have to do it figure out which line is moving and listen to Candace to tell you when you have a gap in a line next to you to switch.

"And the draft works in reverse, too. If you're the lead car in one lane, an air cushion will form between you and the car behind you and he can push you."

"How exactly does the draft work both ways at the same time?" Phineas asked.

Steve threw his hands up. "I honestly don't know. It's just the way the air is flowing and how the cars around you are moving. You kinda have to feel the air around you _through_ the car."

"How?"

"I can't tell you that. You have to figure it out for yourself. Just make sure you keep in line either directly in front of or directly behind another car at all times. If you have to change lanes, do it as fast as you can without wrecking. Because a car in the draft is about ten miles per hour or so faster than a car not in the draft and you'll loose the field. You won't be able to catch up without a caution."

Phineas sighed. "Okay. I'll do my best."

Steve picked up his model cars and placed them in his pockets. "Alright! Let's unload our Ford and get ready for practice!"

**Basically, the only purpose this chapter had was to explain what "drafting" is.**

**It annoys me to no end: Every NASCAR movie I've ever seen, like ****_Days of Thunder_**** or ****_Talladega Nights_****, they race at a restrictor plate track, but they never mention that drafting is absolutely essential. Everyone just passes like it's nothing. Also, why is it that any movie that has to do with racing, not just NASCAR movies, that every time the main character wants to go faster, they shift up? How big is their gear box? They must have about a twenty-speed transmission! In NASCAR, first of all, it's against the rules to shift under normal racing conditions on ovals. You're allowed to shift to slow down and speed up on and off pit road and you can shift up to accelerate on a restart, but you can't shift under normal racing conditions. That's why for years, everyone ran Pocono in third gear, because they had to slow down so much in fourth gear that the car accelerated too slow on the super-long straight-aways and they weren't allowed to alternate between third and fourth gear. And in these movies, why wouldn't they be running in the highest gear possible to begin with? I mean, it's like, "Oh, I have twenty speeds, but tenth gear is good enough to pass everyone except the villain. I'll wait until I pass everyone else to shift up the other ten gears."**

**Therefore, in my story, it's going to be as close to real-life racing as possible, and there will be no random shifting except when you would actually shift in real life. **


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

With just forty-five minutes until practice began, Candace began the long trek up to the spotter's stand. On a track measuring 2.66 miles, the biggest speedway in the country, it takes a long time to get up to the spotter's stand.

She hitched a ride with another team on a golf cart through the infield from the garage area, through the tunnel under turn two to the outside of the race track, an easily fifteen minute ride. They dropped Candace off at the bottom of the front stretch grandstands where she showed a security guard her garage pass. He let her through a small gate where she found-

"You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me."

-stairs. The grandstands were easily ten stories tall, and the only way to the top was to take the stairs.

So, Candace started climbing.

She reached the top seven minutes later, panting for breath. "Why don't they put in an elevator?"

The spotter's stand was just a big two-level platform on top of the grandstands, right next to the press box. Candace walked to the railing and looked out over the huge Superspeedway. She could barely see the backstretch, for it was nearly a mile away.

"Wow. That is impressive. I'm glad I brought my binoculars." She reached for the field glasses around her neck. Her heart sank. "Which I seem to have left down in the garage."

Candace sighed. She started walking down the stairs.

* * *

_ARCA Menards 250, Practice; Talladega Superspeedway_

_"Just remember that these gears are a lot longer than the ones we ran on the short tracks back home. And make sure you always watch your rearview and your temperature gauges."_

"Gotcha."

An official waved Phineas on, and the teen accelerated off pit road.

Steve watched the car for as long as he could, but without the pit box to sit on, it wasn't very long before he lost sight of his driver. The pit box couldn't be set up until a pit stall had been selected, and pit selection didn't occur until after qualifying. Therefore, Steve was in the dark as to how his driver was doing until Phineas came down the front stretch. That is, unless he asked Candace via radio.

Candace gripped her binoculars and followed the red-and-green Ford baring the number 28 as it traced the flat apron below the 33 degree banking of turns one and two. The white stickers announcing their cause had been applied the day before they left, and the car glistened in the morning sun as is steadily gained speed around the bottom of the race track.

Phineas reached the backstretch and moved his car above the double yellow line that marked the bottom of the race track. By the time he had finally reached full speed, he had already made it to turn three.

A pack of fourteen cars playing follow-the-leader in two side-by-side lines was gaining on Phineas fast from behind.

"I see what you mean about cars in a draft being much faster than one car alone," Phineas said as he watched the group quickly getting larger in the rearview mirror.

"Big difference, huh?"

Steve asked. _"Now just stay right against the yellow line until they go past, and then jump in line behind them and try to pick up the draft enough to stick with them."_

"I'll do my best."

There were eight cars on the inside line and six on the outside.

_"Coming outside, stay low, three back, two back, one back, and outside. Hold there, still coming…still coming…still coming…"_

Phineas felt rather helpless as the group passed him. They were only going about ten miles per hour quicker, but it might as well have been ten zettaseconds faster, for he held the gas pedal to the floor and could do nothing to make his car go faster.

_"And clear, all clear."_

Phineas shifted to the right and fell in line behind the number 66 Phoenix Air Chevrolet of Mark Thompson, the last car on the inside lane. It seemed like the pack was going to overtake him too quickly for Phineas to hook up, but just as he was about to lose touch with the draft, he heard the engine's pitch suddenly go up just a bit. The car slowly picked up a bit more speed even though Phineas already had his foot to the floor. In short, he found himself gaining on Thompson and the engine got louder.

_"There you go, Phineas. Now just feel your way your way around the track."_

"How exactly do I do that?"

"Just feel the vibrations in the steering wheel, listen to the engine's pitch, and watch the other cars. And don't forget to keep an eye on your temps. If the engine gets hot, get your grill in some clean air."

"Right."

Phineas looked to the outside lane, which was about a car length gap in front of him. The six cars that comprised it seemed to be slowly moving forward in relation to the inside line.

Phineas took a deep breath and changed lanes.

* * *

Ferb and Vanessa stood on the pit wall with Steve, each holding a stop watch. They were doing mock qualifying runs after half an hour of drafting practice. Each run consisted of just two complete laps, after which Phineas would return to the garage and adjustments would be made as quickly as possible so they could fit in as many runs as possible. Phineas hadn't actually gotten out of the car since practice began.

Vanessa kept track of Phineas's lap times so Steve could focus on talking to Phineas. Ferb was timing other cars that were running out of drafting packs so that they could compare Phineas's times to the other cars.

As important as it was for Phineas to learn how to draft, they had to make sure their qualifying setup was good. Only forty-three cars could compete in the Menards 250, and with the extra prize money as an incentive, forty-nine teams would be trying to earn spots in the starting grid. The fastest forty-three in single-car qualifying time trials would make the race and everyone else would have to pack up and go home.

The number 28 car streaked past, everyone turning their head to follow its path down the front stretch. Vanessa paused the stop watch when the front bumper of the car touched the black and white checkered start/finish line.

Steve keyed the mic. "Shut 'er off. Bring 'er in." At two hundred miles per hour, Phineas could shut the engine off and have enough momentum to carry him all the way around the track, on to pit road, and through the garage area to garage stall number 30.

The gang slowly walked back to the garage while they waited for Phineas to coast around. Steve and Ferb walked with Vanessa.

"How'd we do?" Steve asked.

"You tell us," Vanessa said. They both handed their clip boards to Steve.

This was their fourth mock qualifying run, and they had just enough time for one more. Steve looked at the compared numbers. They had shaved nearly a tenth of a second off their previous run, which doesn't sound like much, but when you're traveling the length of a football field every second, a tenth of a second is the difference between fourth and twentieth on the starting grid. Compared to the cars Ferb had timed, Phineas's times only differed by a few hundredths of a second.

"Hmm. Not bad at all," Steve observed. Ferb and Vanessa smiled and gave each other a casual hi-five, which caused Ferb to blush. "Let's just angle the spoiler back two degrees and give it one last shot. I think we've got this, guys."

**Next time: Qualifying, with a plot point that actually is kind of important.**

**Yes, a zettasecond is a real unit of time.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

As soon as John Wes Townley's number 15 Toyota took the checkered flag to complete his qualifying run, an official waved to the driver of the number 28 Ford. Phineas fired the engine, shifted into first gear, and moved out onto the race track. He didn't bother tracing the apron to the backstretch, for the blend-line rule didn't apply during qualifying, especially since the last car to qualify would be coasting around the bottom while the next car began it's run.

_Second gear._ No clutch, Phineas lifted his foot just slightly off the gas and pushed the shifter to second, and then a few moments later, _Third gear._

Fourth gear came. Phineas rode right up next to the outside wall. He had just two laps to run a good qualifying time. As every other car before him had done, Phineas would ride all the way around the outside on the first lap, the longest way around the track to give the car a little extra time to build up speed. The second lap would be all the way around the bottom, the shortest way around the track.

Phineas could see the flag stand, just past the tri-oval, the man atop it poised to wave the green flag. _Here we go, do or die time._

The gang stood behind the pit wall, watching both Phineas's car and the scoring tower, which showed the current line-up. There were only six cars that would qualify after Phineas, and all of those cars were locked in to the race because of championship points. If one of them qualified outside the top 43, they could bump a team not locked in out of the race. Since all of the so called "Go-or-go-home" cars had already run their time-trials, Phineas needed to be at least 37th quickest on the board to ensure a spot on the starting grid.

The green flag waved over the red-and-green car and Phineas flashed past pit road.

"Ferb, are you okay?" Vanessa asked.

Ferb was staring straight out at the frontstretch, and he appeared to be shivering. "Why do you ask?"

"Because it's, like, 90 degrees out here and you're shivering like you're in the arctic."

"I suspect it's a combination of nervousness, anticipation, and excitement." _And the most beautiful woman I had ever seen is standing right next to me. That's the real reason I'm shaking. _Ferb's calm, collected composure never seemed to falter, but in the last few days, he had found himself unable to control his body whenever Vanessa was near. Usually he could fake it when he had something to concentrate on, like a stop watch or a socket wrench, but now that he didn't have to do anything but watch he brother drive two laps, he had lost all ability to remain calm.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz stood just behind the two of them, holding Perry so the platypus could see. He wasn't really watching them, but he noticed out of the corner of his eye that after their short exchange, Ferb seemed to be sneaking glances at Vanessa. He frowned slightly and turned his attention back to the scoring tower.

Phineas's car finally came back into view as he exited turn 4. As he did so, Vanessa noticed that Steve suddenly put a hand on his headset. The crew chief then spoke a few words into the mic that Vanessa couldn't hear over the engine as Phineas passed by. Steve turned slightly to the right, and Vanessa, Ferb, Dr. D, and Perry noticed that he had a sort of freaked out look on his face.

"Is something wrong?" Vanessa asked as Phineas took the white flag and dove to the bottom of the track to start his final lap.

"Phineas just said something doesn't sound right in the engine."

Vanessa didn't say anything else. She turned to Ferb, and then to her dad, the same sentiment expressed on her face as was on theirs.

The large LCD screen that faced the nearly empty grandstands displayed a picture of Phineas, his car number, and a number "1" with his first lap time next to it. A number "2" was just underneath, with -:- next to it, waiting to display Phineas's second lap time.

"55.756" Steve read off the board. "That's not a bad first lap." There was still an air of nervousness obvious in his voice.

Candace, who was not up in the spotter's stand because there was no reason for her to be, observed, "You know, it's kind of funny that they're going close to two hundred miles per hour and it still takes them almost a full minute to go all the way around."

Normally Steve would have had a response to that, but he was too nervous at the moment to think of anything to say.

The first lap was expected to be much slower than the first. Phineas's first lap was nearly identical Josh William's first lap, the driver who currently held the fourteenth starting spot. But until he ran his second lap, the number "28" appeared 40th on the scoring tower.

Steve, Vanessa, Ferb, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, the only ones who knew of Phineas's possibly sick engine, held their breath as Phineas finally reappeared off of turn four.

_I can hear it in the engine_, Steve thought as Phineas drove through the trioval. _It doesn't sound good even from here._

The checkered flag flew over Phineas's car as it crossed the finish line. The number 2 lap on the LCD screen showed "54.649." Phineas had picked up over a second. The number 28 on the scoring tower jumped to eleventh.

"YES!" The gang cheered.

Their hi-fives and congratulatory hugs were cut short when a plume of white smoke suddenly erupted from under the hood of Phineas's car as it traveled into turn one, trailing out behind the Ford from beneath the front wheel wells and the exhaust pipes. Phineas panicked and slammed on the brakes. The wheels locked up at about 180mph and the car spun down the track, bouncing hard over the transition from the banking to the apron and coming to rest in the grass below turn two.

Everyone fell silent. The engine in Phineas's car had just expired.

**Well…that could be a problem.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The track workers carefully unhitched the dead race car from the wrecker and set it gently back on the asphalt in the garage area as Phineas jumped down from the cab. The rest of the team was already waiting there.

"I'm sorry, Steve," Phineas said, hanging his head. "I don't know what happened."

Steve leaned against the column that divided their garage stall from the next one over. "It's okay, Phineas. This is my fault, actually." He pushed off the wall and walked over to the race car. "Typically, teams only build an engine to last one race weekend. That way, they can use lighter parts, and engines actually perform the best when they're right on the verge of blowing. Then they rebuild them after each race."

Steve pulled out the four hood pins and lifted the hood. He was met by a small cloud of smoke and steam. Everything inside the engine compartment was covered with oil.

"We ran this engine every day for hours at a time for nearly two months. It's a miracle it lasted this long." He sighed. "At some point, I should have had the common sense to say, 'We've really been putting a lot of miles on that engine. We should break for a few days and rebuild that sucker.'"

There were a few moments of silence, during which time Steve just stared at the engine and everyone stared at him. Finally, Candace spoke up.

"Well…can you fix it?"

Steve shook his head. More silence followed.

"Should we just pack up and head home?" Gretchen asked, looking at her watch. "If we leave now, we can make it home by midnight."

Steve didn't reply.

To everyone's surprise, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was the one who spoke up next. The scientist was still holding Perry, and he nearly dropped him when he angrily said, "Well, this just doesn't seem fair! We can't be out of this just because the engine decided to do an impression of a hand grenade!"

Steve turned around, still looking rather distraught. "We're not out of the race just because we lost the engine. We made the field. If we had another engine, we could still race. We'd just have to start last, as per the 'one engine per-weekend' rule."

"Then why don't we just find another engine?" Doof asked.

Steve walked over to him. "Where exactly are we going to find another engine? Cup teams bring back-up engines, but ARCA team are usually so low-budget they don't have extra engines. It's not like we can just borrow another team's motor. And the engine shops are all in North Carolina, too far to drive to."

He turned and walked toward the garage. "Even if we could find another engine, no one is just going to let us borrow it. These engines are expensive! We'd have to buy it, or at least rent it, and I don't have enough money left to buy an new engine."

Doof put a hand on his chin, which did cause him to drop Perry, who looked up at the scientist with an angry glare. "What if we all chipped in?"

"Sure!" Gretchen blurted.

"I'll help!" Candace said.

"Me too!" Milly added. They all started pulling out their wallets.

"Great!" Steve yelled, turning around to face them again. "But you're missing the point. We still have to _find_ an engine!" He was becoming rather irritated.

Doofenshmirtz thought hard again. "What about the six cars that weren't fast enough to make the race? Maybe one of those teams would sell us their engine."

"No dice, dad." Vanessa showed her father the final speed chart, which included the cars that didn't make the field. "There were two Toyotas, three Chevrolets, and a Dodge that didn't make the race. No Ford teams."

"So? Does the engine have to match the manufacturer stickers on the car?"

"Yes!" Steve yelled. "They'd have a conniption if we ran a Dodge engine in a car with a Ford body, and so would I!"

"Okay, okay, geez. The only other solution I have for you is: the race isn't until one o'clock tomorrow. Get in your truck and start driving up to North Carolina. Buy a new engine, and drive back as fast as you can."

"Also not an option," Candace said. She was holding a large stack of cash in her hands. "Unless you two-" she pointed at Steve and Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "-have a lot of cash on you, like several thousand dollars, we only have seven hundred thirty-four dollars and eighty-six cents."

"Yeah, we need easily four or five grand. Maybe more," Steve said. He and Doofenshmirtz both checked their wallets. "I only have three hundred bucks."

"I've got one-fifty, and a bunch of subway tokens," Doof added. "Which is weird, because we don't have a subway in the Tri-State Area. And based on my fuel economy on the way here, plus the tolls, I'm gonna need at least one-forty eight to drive home."

They all thought in silence as Candace handed everyone back their cash. Suddenly, Phineas, who had been surprisingly quiet the whole time, yelled, "Wait! I just thought of something! We have a legal sized Ford Racing engine!"

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Where, exactly?"

"You have one! Your Mustang has a NASCAR engine in it built by Roush/Yates! You told us that the day we met you! We could take the engine out of your car and put it in the race car!"

"Holy crap! I didn't even think of that!" Steve grinned, but it quickly vanished. "Only one problem. It's home in Danville, which is even further away than North Carolina."

Phineas gave Ferb a sly look. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"

**I planned this since the beginning. That's why I said way back in P&F Industries #1 that Steve's Mustang was powered by a Roush/Yates Ford Racing engine. For this exact reason.**

**Next chapter: Candace blows her stack. **


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Candace cried in disbelief as Phineas and Ferb assembled their contraption. "You're telling me that all this time, you guys could have built a teleporter and zapped us down here, and yet you made us drive thirteen hours?!"

Without looking up from his work, Phineas said, "Candace, we didn't have the resources to build a teleporter at home."

"What do you mean, 'You didn't have the resources?' I seem to recall you guys building a teleporter when you were ten."

"I mean we didn't have the resources now. Huh. Conflicting verb tenses. Hand me that carburetor jet, will you Ferb?"

"Why should now be any different than eight years ago?"

Phineas finally looked at his sister. "Hello! We had no money to buy parts!"

Candace threw her hands up and shouted, "But you're building a teleporter right here in front of me!"

"Yes, yes we are. We are building this out of the few working parts from two wrecked Sprint Cup race cars, half a dozen empty beer cans, anything we could find in the dumpster behind the garage, a broken air wrench and some duct tape. It's going to be powered by a car battery. It's only going to have the capability to move the mass of about three people, and two uses is going to completely burn it out. We're still going to have to drive home after the race."

Phineas grabbed a screw driver and with all his might forced a screw into a piece of sheet metal. "This is about all the technology we would have had at our disposal at home. We still wouldn't have been able to teleport everyone and all our equipment here."

Candace clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. "You guys drive me CRAZY!" And with that, she stormed off.

Phineas looked around for something. "How are we going to connect the battery to the warp field generator?"

Ferb reached behind him and tossed something at Phineas, which Phineas caught. "Jumper cables. Sure."

Steve walked up a moment later, his arms and face covered in oil and grease. "Okay, the girls and I got the old engine out of the race car, which was not fun. We dropped it on Dr. D's foot." He wiped his hands off on a rag. "I'm ready when you are."

"We're almost done," Phineas said.

"So who's making this trip?"

"Well, you obviously, and me. Since on the way back we're going to have the added mass of the engine, we can't really take any more people than that, unless the third person is really small."

"Like Perry?"

Phineas considered that option. "Yeah, like Perry."

"It would be good to have a third set of hands to help us," Steve said. "And we already know how versatile that platypus is."

"Alright, we'll bring Perry, too."

Ferb bent a piece of metal with his teeth and jammed it in between two electrical contacts. When he was done he stood up and gave a thumbs up.

"All right!" Phineas exclaimed. "Let's get a move on. I'll go get Perry." He stood and jogged toward the garage.

Vanessa and Dr. Doofenshmirtz strolled over, the scientist favoring his left foot.

"Are you okay, Dr. D?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. My body heals itself ridiculously, almost cartoonishly, fast. I figure I'll be fine by the time I wake up tomorrow morning."  
As he sat down on a stack of tires and began chatting idly with Steve, Vanessa walked over to Ferb and looked at the small contraption on the ground between them. It was about the size of a microwave oven, and on the bottom, extending out about three feet in all directions, was a large piece of reinforced sheet metal that looked like it had once been the roof of a race car. Should someone flip the entire device over, they would find a number "14" decaled in red and white on the other side. The mechanical part in the middle was full of exposed circuitry and power couplings.

"Is this thing actually going to work?" Vanessa asked.

Ferb looked at the teleporter and looked like he was wondering the same thing himself. "It should. If it doesn't blow up in our faces."

Vanessa crouched down and scrutinized it closer up. "Looks pretty low tech, if you ask me."

Focusing on the words he was speaking and refraining from looking at Vanessa was the only thing keeping Ferb from bugging out. "This is _way_ below our usual standards. But, considering what we had to work with, it'll do."

Vanessa continued to look over the device. "How exactly do you target the destination?"

"You don't. It can only go to one place: Right outside Steve's garage in Danville. We didn't have a computer to build a targeting system. It's all mechanical, no computerization involved."

"Then how did you target Steve's garage?"

Ferb pulled his smart phone from his pocket and showed her the screen. The compass application was displayed. "Steve's garage is exactly four hundred twenty-two point nine eight miles in-" He pointed toward turn three. "-that direction."

The trigger from the repurposed air wrench served as the activator. Ferb pointed to it. "When this trigger is pulled, the machine and anything on this plate, will move exactly four hundred twenty-two point nine eight miles north by northeast." Beside the trigger was the directional changer from the air wrench. "When this is flipped, and the trigger pulled, it will come back exactly four hundred twenty-two point nine eight miles south by southwest."

"Huh. Well, that's all it really had to do, though, so…I'm just gonna stand back when you turn it on."

"I'm not going with them, so I'll stand over there with you."

Phineas returned with Perry following. "Ready, Steve?"

"As I'll ever be."

Phineas crouched down and connected the jumper cables to the contacts on the machine first, and then to the contacts on the batteries. Electricity crackled and a whirring sound could be heard. "Alright, climb on!"

Phineas, Perry, and Steve gingerly stepped onto the base, careful not to touch any of the exposed wires.

"Stand back, everybody!"

Ferb and Vanessa helped Dr. D stand and gave him some extra support to hobble into the garage.

Phineas reached down to pull the trigger, but froze when Steve said, "Phineas, if this thing blows up, I am going to kill you."

Phineas grinned. "If this thing blows up, no one in a two hundred yard radius is going to have to worry about anything ever again."

Steve and Perry both swallowed nervously. Phineas pulled the trigger. There was a flash of white light and then the teleporter and its three passengers disappeared.

* * *

They first thing they realized was that they couldn't see.

"Phineas, I can't see. I'm blind."

"Ngrgrgrgrgrg."

"Don't worry, it'll wear off. I hope."

They stood perfectly still for several minutes, careful not to move their legs for fear of bumping into the various electrical components at their feet.

Finally, the one big gray blur became smaller, multicolored blurs, which eventually turned into actual shapes that became recognizable as the interior of Steve's garage.

"Will you guys ever cease to amaze me?" Steve asked.

"Yes, yes we will."

"Don't you mean, 'No, no we won't?"

"I know what I said."

The 1970 Ford Mustang, painted black-and-yellow and adorned with Matt Kenseth's number "17," was parked in the farthest garage bay. As they walked over to it, Phineas pointed to something that looked unfinished against the wall, perched on jackstands. "What's that?"

"That's my unfinished '70 Plymouth Superbird, currently on hold for a slightly more important project, if you know what I mean."

"Doesn't really look much like a car. Kinda looks like some kind of…I don't know…a laterally compressed airplane without wings."

Steve squinted at the unfinished car. With no tires on it, just the body work with the huge wing-like spoiler attached to the deck lid, it didn't really look much like a car. "You're right. I never noticed it before. It does sorta look like an airplane."

They reached the Mustang. Steve pulled the hood pins and lifted the hood. The racing engine beneath it was spotless and shiny. Steve sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna miss this motor. I had a lot of fun with it that I never could have had with a stock motor from the seventies."

"Just put it back in after the race."

Steve let out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, if it actually survives the race, it's gonna be totally worn out. I mean, the thing's two years old. I haven't been running it race speeds constantly, but I'm sure it's already showing some wear." He sighed again. "Well, grab a wrench and lets get to work. We'd better take the transmission, too, since it goes with this engine. And we gotta remember to take off the supercharger, because that isn't legal."

Perry ran over to the corner and slid the large rolling tool chest closer to the car. Phineas grabbed a wrench from the top drawer. "Alright, let's hope this old girl's still got a left life left in her."

**Next time: Pre-race ceremonies and I try my hand at writing dialogue for race announcers.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

_Friday, May 1, 2015  
Menards 250; Opening Ceremonies_

"Flynn! You're next!"

Phineas looked rather lost. He was standing behind a rolling stage that had been set up on the front stretch with all the other drivers, none of which he knew, of course. With none of his friends around, he felt out of place.

The stage was for driver introductions. Though not quite as grand as the pre-race for the Sprint Cup Series race, opening ceremonies were still an important part of the ARCA Racing Series. Phineas, already in his fire suit, had been nearly dragged behind the stage from the garage about half an hour ago and wasn't really sure why he was there. He had vaguely noticed that the number of faces around him had been thinning out, but he hadn't really been paying much attention. He had more pressing things on his mind, like the race that he would be starting in just a little while.

"Flynn!" called the coordinator again.

Phineas jumped. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm here."

The lady grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to a doorway covered with a curtain. "Wait until you hear your name and then just follow the pathway back," she told him.

"Wait, what?"

The huge speakers on the stage drowned out Phineas's question as an unseen announcer spoke:

_"Rolling off from eleventh position is the highest qualifying driver making his ARCA debut today. He will be moving to the rear of the field for making an engine change after qualifying. Driver of the number 28 Donate to Stem Cell Research Ford, Phineas Flynn!"_

Hesitantly, Phineas pushed past the curtain and walked out onto the stage. The huge grandstands, capable of seating 175,000 race fans but only about a quarter filled, stretched across his field of view. No one cheered, for no one knew who he was. Phineas waved nervously, and then walked down the stairs on the left side of the stage and headed back to the garage.

* * *

Isabella turned on the TV in her hospital room and flicked the channel up button until she found the right station. The broadcast of the race was just returning from a commercial break.

_"Welcome back to Fox Sports One's coverage of the Menards 250, live from Talladega Superspeedway. We're getting ready to race, driver introductions are underway, and we'll be getting the command to fire engines shortly. I'm Rick Anderson, here with my partner in crime, Dave Pella."_

The camera shot was an overhead view of the stage, and Phineas could be seen walking out to be introduced to the crowd. Isabella smiled. "He looks so cute in that fire suit," she sighed dreamily.

_"There's Phineas Flynn being introduced to the crowd. He's one of fourteen drivers who will be making their ARCA debut today. He qualified eleventh, but due to an engine change after qualifying, he will have to move to the rear of the field on the opening pace laps."_

The camera switched to one in the broadcast booth, pointed at Dave and Rick, seated behind a desk. A graphic at the bottom of the screen labeled them with their names, and then disappeared after a few moments.

"_Dave, with so many first time drivers in the field today after that half a million dollar prize, what do you think we can expect from today's race?"_

_"Well, Rick, I think we're going to see a lot of wrecks. We usually see a lot of wrecks here at Talladega anyway, but with so many drivers with no prior experience in the field, I think we're going to have a crash-fest today."_

Isabella suddenly felt queasy.

_"So of those fourteen drivers, after watching practice and qualifying, who do you think has the best shot to win the race today and claim that half a million?"_

_"I don't think you can really bet against Phineas Flynn, Rick, because even though he's never started an ARCA Series race before, he has one start in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. He won the Swamp Oil 500 at Jefferson County Motor Speedway back in 2007 when he was just ten years old. I'm still trying to figure out how NASCAR let him start that race, because you have to be eighteen to get your Sprint Cup driver's license. I think he's your best bet of the drivers making their debut today. He has to start from the back, though, like you said, and this race isn't that long, only 94 laps. And of course, they don't run restrictor plates at Jeff County, so we'll have to see just how good a plate racer Phineas Flynn is."_

_"Now, if we're talking about the field as a whole, who do you like to win?"_

_"I'd probably go with our points leader, Frank Kimmel…"_

* * *

Phineas made his way back to pit road, where all forty-three cars were lined up two by two in the order they had qualified. The number 28 Ford still occupied position eleven on the starting grid. Phineas would drop to the back right before the green flag dropped.

The rest of the team, except Steve, was milling around in their pit stall. Steve and Phineas had had to choose a stall yesterday. They were the eleventh team to make their selection, since the pole sitter got first pick, and the outside pole got second pick, and so on. Driver and crew chief had decided on pit stall number 39. There was an empty space between their stall and stall 38 because an entrance to the garage area divided them. And it was close enough to the end of pit road that Phineas almost wouldn't have to worry about slowing down to the pit road speed limit because he would be more focused on stopping the car just a few yards past the pit entrance.

Phineas strolled into the pit. The pit crew was preparing their equipment. Ferb noticed he had returned and walked over to him. He put an arm on his brother's shoulder.

"Are you ready?" Ferb asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready. I just hope I didn't make a mistake by insisting that I drive the car instead of Steve."

Ferb looked Phineas in the eye. "Hey. Just remember all the impossible things we've done over the years. So you're starting last. So what? You can do it. I know you can."

Phineas looked at Ferb and for the first time that day, he smiled.

"Hey, guys," said an unfamiliar voice behind them with a heavy Virginian accent.

Phineas and Ferb turned around to find an middle aged man dressed in a polo shirt bearing a CATERPILLAR INC. logo and slacks. He had on dark wrap around sunglasses much like Steve's, too.

Phineas turned back around, facing away from the man, and announced "It's NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Jeff Burton, everybody!"

Jeff squinted and tried to see what Phineas was looking at. "Who is he talking too?" he asked Ferb.

"Oh, don't mind him. He's just breaking the fourth wall."

"Oh, okay."

Phineas faced Burton once again.

"Say, aren't you all a little young to be an ARCA team?"

"No," Phineas said matter o' factly.

"Okay!" Jeff said with just a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Well, good luck today, guys."

"Thanks! Bye Mr. Burton!"

Jeff walked down pit road toward the start finish line. Halfway there, he ran into someone he knew.

"Hey, Dale."

"'Sup, Jeff?"

"Oh, not much. Hey, did you happen to see…?" He pointed down pit road toward Phineas and Ferb. "…The 28's got a platypus in their pit?"

Dale Earnhardt Jr. looked where Jeff was pointing. "I did not, but I kinda want to. A platypus, huh? Should we tell Marcos? He might want to offer it one of his awful vegemite sandwiches."

The two NASCAR drivers shared a laugh.

* * *

_"We're gonna take another quick break and we'll have opening ceremonies for you when we return." _

_"Hey, you know something, Rick? I looked at the team roster for that number 28 team this morning. Would you believe, the rear tire changer on that car is a platypus?!"_

Isabella laughed.

_"A platypus?"_

_"An anthropomorphic platypus. I kid you not."_

_"Well, weird stuff always seems to happen here at Talladega. This is definitely a new one we can add to the list. We'll be right back."_

**I was thinking, ****_If this were an episode of the show, which NASCAR driver would make a cameo? _****Probably either Carl Edwards or Jeff Gordon. Jeff Gordon seems more plausible to me. He did a voice in Cars 2, he was on Sesame Street one time, he was in Brad Paisley's music video for ****_Old Alabama_****…he'd probably be on Phineas and Ferb. **

**Well, forget logic. I want it to be Jeff Burton. Adding the joke with Dale Jr. and mentioning Marcos Ambrose was an afterthought. **


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_"Welcome back to the Menards 250 on Fox Sports One." _

Isabella sat up higher in bed and turned up the volume on the TV several clicks.

_"You know, Talladega Superspeedway has been host to more first time winners than any other track in professional competition. There are fourteen drivers in today's field who have never even _started_ an ARCA Series race. We could be in for one heck of a show this afternoon! Now, let's take you trackside for opening ceremonies."_

Every crew member from every team was lined up on pit road in their corresponding pit stalls, facing the pit entrance. The announcer from driver introductions spoke into his microphone again, his voice booming from the speakers across the grandstands.

_"Race fans, please rise and remove your hats as the Alabama Air Force Color Guard presents our nation's colors._

_"Please remain standing as Billy Mauldin of Motor Racing Outreach gives today's invocation."_

Isabella watched a man in a collared shirt and blue jeans on stage take the microphone and begin to speak. _"Let us pray: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this absolutely gorgeous day to go racing. We thank you for all the blessings you've given us in life. We pray that you protect the drivers and crews in today's race, and protect the fans as they return home this evening. And finally, thank you, Lord, for this great nation of ours, and those who protect it, and may our troops return home soon. In Jesus' name, Amen."_

There was a quiet echo of "Amen" from the crowd.

_"Please remain standing as some recording artist who no one has ever heard of but has a lot of attributes to their name anyway, (insert name here), as they perform our national anthem. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to read that. That was the form card."_

A lady appeared on stage, a graphic on the bottom of the screen identifying her, as she began to sing the lyrics that every man and woman on pit road knew by heart.

_"Oh, say can you see…by the dawn's early light…"_

Isabella was glued to the TV as various shots of drivers with their hands placed over their hearts and the neat lines of crew members standing in the same pose were shown. One such shot caught the crew of the number 28 team, dressed in their new teal fire suits, colored to match Perry's fur and decorated only with an ARCA Racing Series logo and Ford Racing patch on the sleeves. Isabella could easily identify everyone she knew, except Candace. She was already atop the grandstands with the other spotters.

_"Whose broad stripes and bright stars…"_

Each member of the team had a black Ford Racing hat that Steve had purchased at a souvenir tent that morning. They held the hats by the brim in their right hands, holding the caps over their hearts.

_"…Were so gallantly streaming…"_

Isabella felt a rush of patriotism. She simply could not lay there while the Star Spangled Banner was performed, even if it was over two hundred miles away on TV. Wishing she had a hat to hold over her own heart, she kicked off the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed. With great care, she lowered her feet to the ground. She had not walked since being admitted to the hospital, and certainly never with her mechanical left leg.

_"…Gave proof through the night…"_

She pushed off the bed with her metal arms. For the first time in months, Isabella was standing under her own power. She hesitantly placed her right hand over her heart, afraid the movement might throw her off balance, and turned her attention back to the TV.

_"Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave…O'er the land of the free…and the home…of the…brave?"_

The small crowd cheered. Isabella let herself fall back onto the bed as the announcers signed off again and went to commercial.

"Wow! I stood up!"

* * *

Steve put his hat back on and hopped over the pit wall, scurrying up on top of the war wagon without a second glance at anyone. The rest of the crew replaced their hats, too, and quickly wished Phineas "Good luck" before retreating behind the wall themselves. Only Ferb and Perry remained at Phineas's side.

Phineas looked nervous. "Maybe you should have been the driver, Ferb. After all, you drove with the remote when we were kids."

Ferb gave Phineas a stern look.

"I'm really nervous here, Ferb. Even if I make it all the way to the end of the race, what if I don't win? What if I just don't have what it takes? What if-"

Ferb placed a hand on Phineas's shoulder. He looked deep into his step-brother's eyes, and without a hint of emotion in his voice said, "Phineas. Shut up. Get in the car, and drive."

Phineas was taken aback. After a few seconds, though, he smiled. "Thanks, Ferb. I needed that."

Ferb gave Phineas a hi-five, and then Phineas bent down to hug Perry. The platypus, still wearing his PLAT hat with his aviator sunglasses instead of the Ford hat, gave Phineas a beaver tail-five, and then jumped over the pit wall.

Phineas climbed into the race car. Ferb helped him strap in and then secured the window net before he finally returned to the pit stall.

Phineas took a few deep breathes. All that was left to do now was wait.

* * *

_"We're back here at Talladega for the Menards 250. The waiting is over! It's time to get this race underway! Let's go trackside!"_

Once last time, the announcer down in the infield spoke into his mic. _"Race fans! It's time for the most famous words in Motorsports! _

_"He is a seven time NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion! He is known simply as 'The King!' Here to give the command, please welcome, Richard Petty!"_

The old man in the black cowboy hat and sunglasses raised his microphone as the crowd cheered and announced, _"Drivers, start your engines!"_

* * *

Phineas heard other engines fire up around him as he placed his fingers on the switches. They had barely had time to finish installing the engine from the Mustang in the race car yesterday before officials closed the garage for the night. They hadn't even had a chance to start the engine up to see if they had done their job correctly, and they hadn't been allowed to start it up this morning, until now.

Phineas shut his eyes tight, fearing the worst. He took a deep breath and held it, and then pushed up the ignition switch.

The three year old Ford Racing engine roared to life.

"Yes!" Phineas yelled out, and pumped his fist in the air.

_"Radio check, one, two," _Steve said.

"I hear you loud and clear, Steve!"

_"How does she sound?"_

"Strong! Like 900 horses!"

_"Awesome. Just keep an extra close watch on your gauges today."_

_"Ma May Me Mo Mu. Topeka, Kansas. Topeka, Kansas."_

"Candace…what are you doing?"

_"I'm warming up my voice and doing a radio check at the same time."_

"Really? Because it sounds like you're reciting the dedication page from the Fireside Girls' Compendium Guide."

_"Well I couldn't think of anything else to say, alright!" _

The cars in front of Phineas rolled off pit road. Phineas shifted to first gear and slowly drove off pit road.

"Here we go, everybody!"

**Brace yourself: Pace laps are coming.**

**Yes, that really is the dedication page from the Fireside Girls Compendium Guide. Watch the episode "Just Desserts." (I found it online somewhere before it aired on TV.)**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A Ford Fusion electric street car, decked out with flashing caution lights and Talladega Superspeedway logos, led the two-by-two forty-three car field around the track. It's purpose: to keep the cars properly lined up until the green flag and to remain at exactly 55 miles per hour. This was so that the field could match it's speed and get a tachometer reading for the pit road speed limit.

_"What's your tach say?" _Steve asked.

"I've got…thirty-four hundred."

_"Second gear, right?"_

"Yup, second gear."

_"Right. Just make sure when you slow to pit road speed, you remember to down shift. If you're at thirty-four hundred in third gear, you'll be too fast."_

"Gotcha."

Phineas doubled checked his seatbelts as they traveled down the backstretch. He checked to make sure all his fans were on. He checked his radio cords and adjusted his Mechanix Wear driving gloves.

_"Just kinda gently weave the car back and forth any time you're running pace laps, now and under caution," _Steve instructed. _"The tires will get little chunks of rubber and dirt stuck to them while you're driving slow, and weaving will get them cleaned off."_

"I noticed the guys in front of me doing that. I wondered what they were doing."

_"Yeah, if you don't clean off the tires well, it'll feel like you have a flat tire, even though you don't."_

Phineas twisted the wheel back and forth as he traveled down the backstretch.

* * *

The field made three whole trips around the huge race track. Candace made a point of searching for Phineas's number "28" with her binoculars. It wasn't easy to pick it out among the closely knit field.

* * *

Steve heard a crackle in his headset. It was not Phineas or Candace, but was instead coming from the NASCAR officials' channel, who had the frequencies for every team up and down pit road. Only the crew chiefs could hear them, though. _"Car 28, drop to the back for the start."_

Steve keyed his mic. "Okay, Phineas, they want you to drop to the back now. Just pull inside and stop, and then pick up the last spot on the inside line for the start."

_"I'm on it, Steve."_

* * *

_"You see the number 28 off the pace down on the apron, that's Phineas Flynn, dropping to the back for the start. He will have to work his way to the front from forty-third."_

Isabella already knew this was going to happen, but she grimaced anyway as she watched her boyfriend give up the eleventh starting spot and fall to the back.

_"The lights on the pace car are out, we will be going green this time by."_

* * *

_"Alright, Phineas. We're starting shotgun on the field and its just a shootout, out you're really gonna have to haul the mail. Keep it tight and out of the fence, hit your marks, and we'll take care of your eagles."_

"Okay. I will. Candace, can you translate what Steve just said?"

_"We're starting last and it's a short race, so go really fast. Don't crash. Stay in line, and they'll take care of your tires on pit road."_

"Oh, okay."

* * *

Even though the TV was already plenty loud enough, Isabella turned up the volume a little more anyway as the field slowly exited turn four and headed toward the start finish line. With the cameras focused on the front of the field, she could not see the number 28 car anymore. She sat forward with anticipation and excitement.

_"It's the first time since 2012 that we've had a full field here at Talladega Superspeedway. Fourteen first time starters, a half a million dollar prize on the line, and a platypus down in the pits! The pace car dives onto pit road…"_

* * *

Candace watched the pace car pull onto pit road and keyed her mic. "Get ready, Phineas…get ready…get ready…"

* * *

_"…Mason Mitchell and Tom Hessert lead 'em down, the green flag is out…!"_

* * *

"Green, green, green! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!"

* * *

_"…And the Menards 250 is underway!"_

**After 20 chapters, this race has finally gone green. To be fair, the chapters in this story are really short.**

**And, ever the NASCAR fan, I wrote this chapter while watching the opening laps of the Camping World RV Sales 301 at New Hampshire Motor Speedway.**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Phineas quickly accelerated, staying as close to the back bumper of James Swanson's 06 Chevrolet as he could. He shifted up to third gear in turn one, carefully watching the RPM's as he held the car on the bottom through the corner.

The inside line had the push on the start, edging ahead of the outside line by three cars. Phineas was dragged along with it, and by the time he had reached the backstretch and shifted up to fourth gear, he was already forty-first. Jack Stuart, one of the other thirteen first time starters, dropped down from the outside line behind Phineas.

_"On your six, half back," _Candace informed him.

With the double yellow line beneath which no passing is allowed on his left and a solid string of cars on his right, with a car behind him and a line of twenty in front, Phineas was just along for the ride. His foot to the floor, steering his Ford right in the tire tracks of the Chevy ahead.

The field zoomed through the tri-oval past pit road. The girls, Vanessa and Dr. Doofenshmirtz cheered and clapped, though it was impossible for Phineas to hear them. Phineas crossed the start/finish line, the draft having sucked him up to thirty-ninth by the time they got there.

_"Alright, Phineas. Just seventy-two more times around."_

"Oh, joy."

* * *

_-Lap 6-_

_"You can see now,_ _Caleb Armstrong moved up out of the draft, and Brennan Newberry and Sean Corr went with him. And now, we've got another eight cars in that line new line, and they're three wide from about sixth spot on back."_

_"Yeah, Rick, and actually, that outside lane has begun to pull forward a bit on the leaders, running right around against the outside wall."_

_"John Wes Townley moves up from what has become the middle line and joins the outside, he runs fourteenth."_

"Phineas needs to get to the outside!" Isabella said to herself. "That's where the draft is favoring!" Isabella frowned. "Whoa. Did I just say that?"

* * *

_-Lap 8-_

"Phineas, the outside lane's got the push," Steve said." You need to try to get up there. The inside isn't moving any more than that. Candace, you need to find Phineas a gap so he can shift up to the middle lane, and then to the outside when he gets the chance."

_"I'm on it,"_ she answered.

The novelty of clapping and cheering had worn off fast for the crew, and they were now just sitting behind the pit wall, watching the field rocket past. Some sat on tires, others on the ground. Perry had climbed up on top of the war wagon with Steve for a better view.

"Hey, guys!" Gretchen said when the field was on the backstretch and she could talk without screaming. "Remember when we were Phineas's pit crew for the Swamp Oil 500? We sang that song?"

"Yeah, right!" Holly exclaimed. "We could sing it now!"

"I hope we can get the same harmony without Isabella, Adyson, and Ginger," Milly said.

"Only one way to find out! Ready?" Gretchen asked. The other girls nodded. "One, and two and,

_"Go Phineas, go, go Phineas! Go Phineas, go, go Phineas! Go Phineas, go, go Phin-"_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Steve yelled, holding up his hand. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

"Singing 'Go Phineas, go,'" Katie said.

"Why?"

The girls looked at each other. "Because we can," they answered in unison.

"Okay, well, there aren't going to be any musical numbers on _my_ race team!" Steve demanded.

"Uh, I don't think you understand, Steve," Gretchen said. "Once we start a musical number, we can't just stop in the middle of it. It'll cause bodily harm."

"Well, you're gonna have to deal with it. I can't think straight with you guys dancing around! Plus, your song is girly."

Katie cleared her throat. "Well, to be fair, we are girls."

* * *

_-Lap 21-_

_"You're clear outside, clear by one and a half," _Candace relayed.

Phineas let the car drift up the track in turn two until he found himself in the middle lane. Almost as soon as he moved, the draft sucked the cars that had been behind him on the bottom forward, filling the space where the number 28 car had been. Phineas found himself completely boxed in, with a solid line of race cars to his left, and a solid line of race cars to his right. No car, whether behind him, in front of him, or beside him was more than three feet away from his fenders.

"Um, Candace? I don't like it here in the middle. I'm not claustrophobic, but this is making me uncomfortable. I've got no where to go if there's a crash in front of me."

"_I know, I know. I'm looking for a gap in the outside line for you to move. The outside is kinda sparse near the back here, guys are having trouble staying in the draft. There should be a gap for you soon. Just be patient and don't hit anyone. I'll find you a way out of there."_

* * *

_-Lap 23-_

Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked up at the huge scoring tower, finding the number "28" in thirty-sixth position. "He's not really getting anywhere fast," he observed.

"Yeah, Talladega is fickle like that when you start deep in the field. You could start fortieth and be in the top ten in a dozen laps if you can change lanes easily and work your way forward. Other times, when the whole field gets three wide like this, nobody except maybe the top six or seven can really move anywhere, but then those six or seven will tend to cycle in and out with other cars from the pack," Steve told him. "Restrictor plate racing is like a two hundred mile per hour game of chess. Or a high speed parking lot, you can look at it either way."

_"Go Phineas, go, go Phineas! Go Phineas, go-"_

"Seriously, stop singing that."

* * *

_-Lap 24-_

Isabella un-muted the TV following a commercial for Duralast car batteries.

_"Welcome back to the Menards 250, where, for the first time today, we have a new leader. Mason Mitchell led the first twenty-two laps, but now Caleb Armstrong's number 55 Toyota shows the way and Mitchell is back in the fifth position."_

_"Let's show you how he got there."_

The Fox Sports 1 logo flashed across the screen and the replay began. Isabella watched with interest.

_"Now, there's the 55 car tucked in behind the Jones-"_

The first seven cars on the inside line were clear to the outside. Mitchell's number 99 Ford led Terry Jones's number 30 Dodge and Armstrong, and then John Ferrier, Sean Corr, and Tom Hessert.

_"-and he's gonna pull to the outside, and Ferrier, Corr, and Hessert go with him."_

The four cars shifted out of line. While Mitchell still had a little drafting help from Jones, four cars in a line were faster. Mitchell and Jones slowly drifted backwards as Armstrong pulled his three helpers around the outside. Then, they dropped back to the bottom in front of the 99 car, leaving Mitchell in fifth and Armstrong in the lead.

Isabella rubbed her chin, considering the display she had just witnessed. "Hmm. Interesting."

The broadcast returned to live coverage and the ticker, a graphic at the top of the screen that showed each driver's position at the last scoring loop, appeared. Isabella watched it until **28 Flynn** appeared. The outside line had carried him up to thirty-first.

* * *

_-Lap 25-_

"See what I mean about it being a chess match?" Steve asked Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Armstrong pulled out, but if the cars behind him didn't go with him, he would have been hung out to dry and fell back to about ninth or tenth. It's all about timing and making friends to work with."

"I see." Doofenshmirtz thought about this for a moment, then suddenly smiled. "I'll bet I could build an inator, a Draftinator! You'd install it in the back bumper of the car, and then if you want to jump out of line to pass, a powerful magnet would force the car behind you to move with you, so you'd never be without help!"

"Good luck getting that through tech inspection, dad," Vanessa laughed. "We almost didn't pass this morning because we mounted the radio inside the car wrong and it made the weight off balance. I doubt they'd let an inator in the bumper pass."

"It could work! You'd just have to make it really small so no one notices it!"

_"Go Phineas, go-"_

"Shut up!"

**I don't find that song annoying. I just find it funny that Steve does. Plus, it will be important two or three chapters from now.**

**I'll tell you what: It's really hard to describe restrictor plate racing with words.**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

_-Lap 27-_

_"Okay, Phineas, you've got a gap to the outside. When the 6 car clears your nose, you can move up."_

"Thank you, eye in the sky!"

The very instant that Ricky Ehrgott pulled far enough ahead, Phineas slid up and took up a spot behind the 6 car. He was in 27th place.

* * *

_-Lap 28-_

_"And just as Sean Corr takes the top spot from Caleb Armstrong, the first caution of the day waves. There is debris on the front stretch. It's on the apron, but it's right where cars trying to get onto pit road would be running, so NASCAR is going to throw the yellow flag and take care of that."_

* * *

Candace probably had the most difficult job on the team. Not only did she have to watch Phineas's car and guide him around the track, but she had to listen, too. Her headset picked up everything Phineas and Steve said, and was also tuned to the officials' channel. And it was from the officials' channel that she heard,

_"Yellow flag, debris on superstretch."_

A quick glance at the flag stand just past the pit exit, and Candace saw the flag man waving the yellow flag, even though no one in the field could see it, for they were on the backstretch.

"Back it down, Phineas, back it down, yellow's out. Don't get run over from behind."

* * *

Phineas carefully let off the throttle and braked, making sure he slowed enough to keep from rear-ending Ricky Ehrgott's Chevrolet, and watching his mirror to make sure he didn't slow down too much and get run into by Troy Ridge from behind. (Ridge was another one of the first time starters in the field.)

* * *

_-Lap 29-_

"Okay, let's see here." Steve thought. "You get about 45 laps on a tank of gas, and there's 73 laps in the race…we're twenty-eight laps in…Uh…well, we could make it exactly to the end from here, actually, but I'm not sure I want to run the whole thing with these same tires-"

_"Go Phineas, go, go Phineas!"_

"Seriously?! I'm trying to strategize here! He can't go anywhere, the field is frozen!"

* * *

_"Hey, Phineas, how's it going?"_

"Not bad, Steve. I think I'm getting the hang of this."

_"Good. How's the car handling?"_

"Pretty good. The back end feels like it wants to jump out when I come out of the corner, but just a little bit. It's nothing I can't hold on to. Other than that, it's pretty good."

_"Loose on exit, gotcha. Okay, here's the deal, I want you to come in when the pits open, probably next time by. We're gonna change just right side tires and I'll have Katie crank a half round of wedge in to help your exit."_

"I'm not entirely sure what you just said, but I trust your judgment."

_"I'm glad. Try really hard not to lock up the tires and slide when you stop in the box since we aren't changing the left sides."_

"I'll do my best, but I'm not making any promises."

* * *

"Steve! What are you doing?" Vanessa cried.

Perry had already jumped down to the ground. He pulled on his helmet and fetched his air gun. The girls and Ferb were doing the same.

"What do you mean?"

Vanessa climbed up the ladder to get closer so she wouldn't have to shout to Steve. "If you only change the rights, we won't have enough fuel to make it to the end! There won't be enough time for Milly to get all the fuel in!"

"I know. It's part of my strategy."

"Well, explain it to me!"

"We change just right side tires now. That's enough connection time to get at least twenty laps of fuel in the car. We started the race with forty-five laps worth. We've run twenty-eight laps, take into account the opening pace laps and there's a least fifteen laps left in the tank right now. That's thirty-five laps until we have to pit again."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," Vanessa said.

"Look! They've been three wide almost the whole race so far! I'm surprised there hasn't been a wreck yet, because no one in this series knows how to drive…except maybe Frank Kimmel. Now we're bunching everyone back up for a restart, and we're already nearing the halfway point. Those thirteen other first-timers are going to start feeling that half million starting to slip away and start driving harder. Trust me, very soon here, there's gonna be a wreck, resulting in a caution. When that happens, Phineas pits for left side tires and we'll hold him a little longer to wait on the fuel. Then, he'll be able to make it to the end and we'll have changed all four. And, I'm sure there will be more than one caution between now and the end of the race where we could pit if the caution comes out too soon."

Vanessa stared at Steve.

"Plus, I guarantee you, only two or three cars will take four, here. If we took four, we would lose the very little track position we have gained up until now."

Vanessa didn't say anything. She just climbed down the ladder.

_"Go Phineas, go-"_

"SHUT UP!" Steve yelled, and was surprised that Vanessa said it, too.

* * *

_-Lap 30-_

Phineas followed the 6 car down pit road and into his pit box. He braked early and gently, careful not to slide the tires or overshoot the stall. Ferb, Gretchen, and Holly ran out in front of him right before he stopped. He almost panicked and slammed on the brakes, but restrained himself.

Phineas stopped perfectly.

He felt the right side of the car rise up a few inches. He heard the squeal of Ferb and Perry's air guns. He couldn't turn his head as his helmet was attached to the seat, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Gretchen stoop down to put on the new right front tire. In his mirror, he could see Katie stick a wrench in the slot in the back window and give half a crank before pulling it out and bending to roll the old tire back around.

The rule book states that all equipment, tires, and personnel, except the jackman and jack, must be on the inside half of the pit box before the driver can leave. Holly watched carefully as Ferb, Gretchen, Perry, and Katie ran around to the left side of the car while she stood, waiting, leaving the car jacked up. When she dropped the car back to the ground, that would be Phineas's signal to leave.

Holly dropped the jack. Phineas tried not to spin the tires as he left, but ended up doing so just a bit.

Milly held the gas can in the tank as long as she could, trying to get as much fuel in the car as possible in the short six and a half second pit stop. When the car left, Milly couldn't get the gas can out all the way. Thankfully, it came loose, for if it hadn't, Phineas would have been penalized for leaving the pit box with equipment, but Milly was pulled over. She crashed hard to the concrete.

Katie helped her up. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to get a little extra fuel in, is all."

Katie gave Milly a little extra support as they climbed back over the pit wall.

"Milly," Steve called. Milly looked up. Steve smiled. "Good job."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

_-Lap 32-_

_"Okay, we're going green…get ready…get ready…get ready…green flag, green flag."_

* * *

Phineas had gained exactly one spot on pit road, putting him 26th. However, that one spot was important, because it meant he would line up on the outside lane. Just like on the initial start of the race, the inside line got the push on the restart and Phineas lost three positions as the line pulled ahead, but he forced himself not to panic. He just made sure he shifted up to fourth gear without over revving the engine and held the car in the draft, hoping that soon enough, a third lane would begin, and this time, he could easily join it.

* * *

_-Lap 33-_

_"Whoa, and out of control goes Cushman!"_

The camera focused in on the number 13 Chevrolet as driver George Cushman shot off the race track and onto the apron on the backstretch. Isabella's heart skipped a beat as she watched the car on TV graze the infield grass with the left side tires. A large cloud of dirt and grass was kicked up, and then the car turned to the right and slid.

_"HE'S GONNA SLIDE BACK INTO TRAFFIC!"_

The 13 slid right into the inside lane, Benny Chastain smashing into the right front fender. Chastain's 75 car was shoved to the right, and he hit Matt Kurzejewksi, who spun left.

_"It's the big one!"_

* * *

_"Check up-Check up-check up-check up! Stay high, stay high!" _

Phineas heard the words Candace shouted into the radio. He braked hard, forgetting that Robert Steinmetz behind him might run over him. Fortunately for Phineas, Steinmetz had already slammed on the brakes so hard that he himself had been rear ended, causing him to spin out, leaving open space behind the 28 Ford.

The wreck had happened on the bottom and most of the cars involved were now spinning across the infield, but some had still bounced up the track, and with the wall to Phineas's right, he had no where to go.

James Swanson's car suddenly smashed into the wall on the driver's side, having been turned completely around backwards. Phineas could see the front of that car, and he was about to run into it head on.

_"GO LOW!" _Candace screamed.

Phineas turned to the left. Unfortunately, Ricky Ehrgott was right next to him. He collided with Ehrgott and pushed the 6 Chevy down the track. Phineas just squeezed past Swanson's battered car-

_"HIGH HIGH HIGH!"_

-and then quickly back to the right, off the 6 car, and up the track to avoid Ian Geraci's spinning Toyota. Phineas ended up pancaking the right side of the car into the wall, but he missed the 53 car. Ehrgott dove left to avoid Geraci and ended up colliding with a spinning Galen Hassler.

Ahead of Phineas was clear race track. He had made it through the wreck.

_"Good job, Phineas!" _Candace said. _"As I'm sure you figured out by now, caution is out."_

* * *

Isabella's eyes scanned the TV for the red-and-green car baring the number 28, but there was so much smoke and so many other cars spinning and wrecking, she could not find Phineas's Ford.

When the smoke had cleared, at least eight cars sat immobilized on the backstretch, pieces of sheet metal and rubber scattered about as if a bomb had gone of in the middle of the pack. None of those cars appeared to be Phineas.

The camera changed, showing a few heavily damaged cars driving back to pit road, spewing smoke and various fluids, but still, none of them appeared to be Phineas.

_"Wow. That was quite a wreck."_

_"Indeed it was, Dave. I think about half the field was involved in that wreck in some way, shape or form. About sixteen or so were heavily damaged."_

_"There's George Cushman's car. You see him climbing from the cockpit. He appears to be okay, but that was quite a ride he took."_

There was a pause in the commentary as the announcers, too, watched the cleanup in progress. They were also waiting for the tech department to edit together the replays. Isabella still didn't see Phineas, but just because she couldn't spot him didn't mean he hadn't been involved in the wreck. She could barely sit still.

Finally, Dave said, _"Let's go back and take a look at how this wreck unfolded."_

The graphic transition flashed across the screen, and the replay appeared.

_"Now there's Cushman on the bottom, behind John Wes Townley, and I think…what we're gonna see…"_ Rick said as the replay began in slow motion. _"Yeah, that's Clay Campbell behind him. Campbell gets a run and can't get whoaed up fast enough, and he bumps Cushman from behind, and that sends the 13 car down onto the apron."_

_"And I think he would have been able to save it if he hadn't run through the grass with the left side tires. That got him out of shape and he spun back up the track, right into poor Benny Chastain, who just had no where to go."_

After that, Isabella didn't really hear what the announcers were saying. She was too focused on looking for the 28 car.

_"Ooh! Kurzejewski gets clobbered by PJ Wiegartner as he's spinning_ _and manages to catch a little air."_

Finally, Isabella found Phineas. She followed his escapade through the crash, his collision with the 6 car and his bounce off the wall.

"Ooh…I hope that didn't hurt anything mechanically or aerodynamically." Isabella frowned at her words again. "Seriously, where am I getting this from?"

* * *

-_Lap 35-_

The battered Fusion rolled into the pit box and Phineas braked to a halt. On the right side, the paint and decals were scraped off the surface front to back from the collision with the wall, and the fenders had been squished flat. The left side had a few dents and scratches, but wasn't too bad.

Holly jacked the right side up of the car. Ferb and Perry dropped to their knees and jammed small, flat pry-bars between the tires and the fenders. Pushing out against the tires, they bent the sheet metal out, away from the tires to keep the edges from cutting a hole in the rubber. It was already evident that the fenders had been rubbing, as the tires had thin gashes in the side walls.

The fenders taken care of, they quickly changed the tires and circled the car. Since Talladega is such a big track and it takes so long to go around at fifty-five miles per hour, they had enough time to take care of the left side before the field caught up and put them a lap down.

As they checked the fender clearance and changed the left side tires, Milly was just finishing her job. She had already emptied one gas can and fuel had stopped flowing from the second can because the tank was full. She retreated behind the wall to give Perry and Katie more room to work on the left rear of the car.

_"Come on, guys, we gotta go. The field is coming," _Steve told the group over the radio. _"Come on. Put the left side tires on! Hurry up!"_

Perry and Ferb quickly put the fresh left side tires on and Phineas quickly drove away, just barely beating the pace car off pit road and staying on the lead lap.

"Good job, guys," Steve called to everyone after the field had driven past. "The car looks pretty good. I don't think that little bit of damage is gonna hurt us too bad. At least when Phineas hit the wall, he hit it square and flat, so the aero should be okay."

As Gretchen swept up the old lug nuts from the pit box and the rest of the crew set down their equipment and shed their helmets, Vanessa climbed up the ladder again. "This actually kinda works to our advantage," she said. "I'm surprised that so few cars that _weren't_ involved in the wreck pitted. Because now, since we were sitting here so long, we've got a full load of fuel."

Steve punched the buttons on his calculator. "By my calculations, we should be seven laps to the good now. That'll come in handy if we have a green-white-checkered at the end."

"A what?"

"If we get to that point, I'll explain to you what it is. But, essentially, it's overtime if there's a caution at the very end of the race. Having seven laps of extra fuel will be good if we have to run extra laps."

* * *

_"Alright, Phineas. How you doing?"_

"I'm alright. A little shaken up, I guess, but it's better than being stirred."

_"What?"_

"I don't know. Forget I said it."

_"Okay, then. We're gonna be all the way at the back again for this restart, but there's nine cars off the track from that crash, plus three that had un-crash related problems earlier, and two lapped cars that came off pit road from repairing damage after you did. So, you should be lining up twenty-ninth, which is actually one spot forward from where you were before the wreck."_

"Okay. That's not so bad."

_"Not bad at all. Just stay on your toes."_

"I will."

_"And make sure you clean your tires off really well before we go green here."_

"Yup."

* * *

_-Lap 39-_

After a rather lengthy clean up, the field was finally lined up double file again and the safety lights on the pace car had been shut off, signaling that the race would be going back to green this time by.

_"Finally, after a rather long cleanup and having to sort out the running order following pit stops, we are ready to go racing again! The pace car dives down pit road, Sean Corr and John Ferrier lead them down, the green flag is out, and we're back underway here at Talladega!"_

**Next chapter: The first musical number of the story since ****_Night on the Riviera._**


	24. Chapter 24

**So before we get to the chapter, here's the story:**

**Like I said last time, this is a "musical number" chapter. This scene went through multiple transitions before I ever starting writing it.**

**Originally, I wanted to use AC/DC ****_Thunderstruck_**** for this scene. I nixed that idea for two reasons: First, I really couldn't see the characters screaming the lyrics. Second, I wrote a songfic not that long ago called "Drive (For Daddy Flynn)" and I got chewed out for using "copywrited" lyrics and was asked to remove the lyrics from the story. Once I write this chapter, I can't remove the lyrics because then the chapter won't make sense.**

**So then I was going to use a very obscure Lynyrd Skynyrd song called ****_White Knuckle Ride. _****I thought that song was so obscure, I wouldn't get yelled at for using those lyrics. It was more appropriate, too, because it's about racing. I could actually hear Vanessa singing it.**

**Then I found another song, like, three days ago. It's an even more incredibly obscure song by The Charlie Daniels Band, called ****_The Intimidator._**** I wouldn't really make sense in this story because it's a song about Dale Earnhardt. Then, I had a great idea: I'll change the lyrics a bit to make it about Phineas and make it fit the story a little better. I am not a poet or a song writer even remotely, but I think it turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**Also, I encourage all of you to find the video on YouTube entitled "The Intimidator by The Charlie Daniels Band" to hear the real version of the song while watching the last five laps of the 2000 Winston 500 at Talladega. Just keep your eye on the black car with the orange number "3." They said that man could ****_see_**** air. After watching that video, I believe it.**

**Since there is a whole lot of italics already, I underlined the song to separate it from regular speech.**

Chapter 24

_-Lap 40-_

The field screamed past the pits. Phineas had once again lost three spots on the restart when the inside line got the jump. Now, he was waiting for more experienced drivers ahead of him to start a third line.

Meanwhile, on pit road, Gretchen, Holly, Katie and Milly were sitting on the ground, leaning up against the war wagon. They had their jaws shut tightly and appeared to be shaking.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked.

"M-m-must n-not s-s-s-s-s-s-sing-g," Gretchen stuttered.

Doof slowly backed away. He climbed up the ladder to the top of the war wagon where Steve and Perry sat. "Uh, Steve?"

"Yes?"

"I think our pit crew is going to hurt themselves if they don't get their musical number out of their system."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Steve didn't avert his attention away from the TV screen that was mounted on the war wagon. He was trying to use the race broadcast to help guide Phineas. Perry, however, leaned forward and looked down at the four girls. He poked Steve on the arm.

"What?"

Perry pointed down.

Steve quickly looked over the side. "Huh. Apparently, they weren't kidding."

* * *

_-Lap 41-_

"I think you should let them do their thing," Vanessa called up to Steve.

"That song of their's is so stupid. I can't concentrate!"

Katie shakily stood up. "What if we did a different song?"

"If you absolutely must," Steve said. "But do something cool, like something by AC/DC, or Boston, or Bryan Adams, or-"

He was cut off by the sound of an electric guitar. He turned around to find Ferb strumming intensely on a guitar that he seemed to have pulled out of thin air.

"Why am I not surprised that Ferb has a guitar?" Steve asked no one in particular.

Suddenly, Vanessa was drumming on stacks of tires. The girls jumped up and started dancing. Apparently, that was just as good as doing the song themselves. Perry joined in with a second guitar.

"I don't know what song this is, but I kinda like it," Steve said, now smiling wide.

Ferb began to sing in a voice that was definitely not his own. _"__Talladega, Alabama, started in the back…It's pedal to the metal keep it in the draft…Townely's passing Kimmel, he's lookin' for the win…He's burning up the track, but look out! Here comes Mr. Flynn!"_

The fireside girls and Vanessa joined in for the chorus. _"He's moving to the outside, listen to that Fusion growl…Just move it on over 'cause the platypus is going wild!"_

* * *

_"What's going on down there?"_ Candace asked Steve.

"Oh, they're doing a musical number."

_"I think, from the look of things, it's a montage."_

"What's the difference?"

_"Well, if this was an actual episode of the show, as they're doing the song, there would be a time shift."_

"Huh?"

_"Yeah, there would be a whole bunch of action shots of Phineas making passes and moving up through the field with intermittent shots of the pit crew singing, dancing and playing their instruments. Before you know it, it'll be an hour later in the day."_

Steve wasn't really sure how to reply to that. He looked up at the scoring tower. "Lap 49? How is that possible?" Not only that, but the number 28 was scoring in twenty-first position.

* * *

The third lane had started on the outside several laps ago, and Phineas wasted no time in joining it. He made it up to twenty-fourth, and then found a very large separation in the middle lane, at least five car lengths, and moved down. Utilizing the side draft from the outside lane and a good push from Korbin Forrister, Phineas was able to pull the middle lane back together, right up to the back bumper of Brennan Newberry's number 92 Chevrolet. That put him twenty-first.

* * *

_"Push it down, stand on it, put it on the floor…Roaring down the backstretch, blowing off their doors….Eatin' up the asphalt and chewing up the miles…They're bringing out the checkered flag, the crowd is going wild!"_

The girls chorused with Ferb as they sang, _"Danville city guys always find a way to win…Y'all wave bye-bye 'cause Phineas has done it again!"_

* * *

_"See what I mean?" _Candace asked.

Steve looked up at the board again. "Lap 54. Sure, why not?"

* * *

_"Clear to the bottom, clear by one, clear by half…"_

Phineas quickly jumped to the bottom line and found himself right in front of Frank Kimmel, the ARCA Series points leader. As they exited turn 4, Darrel Basham slid just a little bit wide. Phineas found himself with a huge run and squeezed his Ford to the inside, willing it to fit in the little gap between the 34 car and the double yellow line on the bottom.

The car just fit, and Basham was hung out to dry, four wide between the middle and inside lanes, and falling fast with no drafting help.

* * *

"YEAH! Go Phineas!" Isabella called as she watched her boyfriend moving up through the field. "I think he's actually faster with air on the nose, not right on someone's bumper. He can really work the side draft and he just pulls the rest of the line behind him."

Isabella clenched her metal hands and gritted her teeth. "HOW DO I KNOW THIS?! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RACING!"

* * *

_"The kid means business when he gets behind the wheel, eye like an eagle, nerves made of steel. Speed is the bottom line, winning is the deal-"_

The girls sang back up interjections. _("Let 'er whine!")_

"LET 'ER WHINE!"

("Man he's flyin'!")

"MAN HE'S FLYIN!'"

("Finish line!")

"FINISH LINE!…ONE MORE TIME!"

Ferb played out the shredding guitar solo while the girls danced on the pit wall. They attracted quite a bit of attention.

* * *

_-Lap 59-_

The track had changed as the race progressed. Now, the top ten cars, all running single file just ahead of the pack, ran right against the outside wall, led once again by Caleb Armstrong. John Wes Townley had fought his way up to second.

Phineas ran tenth. "I'm running out of laps here. It's now or never. It's risky, but I have to try."

As the field drove into turn one, Phineas dove from his spot in line, next to the wall, all the way to the very bottom of the race track. He looked in his mirror. He was relieved to see that Frank Kimmel had stuck with him, riding just few inches off his bumper. A few more cars lined up behind Kimmel's 44 Toyota.

Phineas had been driving with his right foot on the gas, held to the floor, and his left foot resting on the brake, just incase. Now that there was nothing ahead of him, just open race track, he took his foot off the brake.

"No slowing down now."

Phineas's line of cars, about six of them, began to slowly creep up on the leaders. Ninth. Eighth. Seventh. Sixth.

* * *

_-Lap 60-_

Ferb and Perry stopped playing. Only Vanessa's drumming persisted. _"You're burning down the straightaway, puttin' on a show."_

* * *

Phineas was up to fourth, and still no opposition from the outside lane.

* * *

"Leading by a length with only thirteen laps to go."

* * *

Third.

* * *

"You almost got this sucker won-" 

* * *

Second.

* * *

_"-engine's running great…"_

* * *

Just as Phineas was about to pull even with Caleb Armstrong down the backstretch, the 55 Toyota dove down the track to block. Phineas saw Armstrong start to move down. Just as the 55 was just off Phineas's right front fender, Phineas turned slightly to the right.

Armstrong didn't see the crossover coming. Phineas squeezed to the outside and Kimmel followed him. John Wes Townley slid in behind the 44 and shut Cody McMahan out of the draft.

* * *

"BUT DON'T LOOK IN YOUR MIRROR, HERE COME NUMBER TWENTY EIGHT!"

* * *

Ferb and Perry picked up the tune again and Ferb sang, _"He's a fighter and biter and he sure knows how to make 'em push!…You know the way that kid drives he might as well be Kyle Busch!"_

* * *

"New leader," Candace said excitedly, _"The 28."_

* * *

Everybody cheered. Steve stood up and pumped his fist in the air.

* * *

"HOLY CRAP! I'M LEADING AT TALLADEGA!" Phineas yelled.

* * *

"YEAH! GO PHINEAS!" Isabella screamed.

"Keep it down in there!" somebody yelled from the next room over.

"Sorry!"

* * *

_"Stand on it son…"_

**Yay! Phineas is leading!**

**But it ain't over 'till the checkered flag falls…**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

_-Lap 61-_

_"Wow! Flynn with the crossover. That was a great move to take the lead, and by a first timer, too."_

_"Well, a first-time plate racer, anyway, Rick. He is the only driver in contention for that half a million bonus that has led today, and he's actually the only one to make it up into the top five."_

* * *

"Well, I learned something about my car," Phineas told Steve as he began to focus more on his rearview mirror than the windshield.

_"What's that?"_

"It's really good in front of a line. I mean, this is the first time it's actually had air on the nose, but with cars behind me, the car just sucks the draft along."

* * *

_"You know, Phineas Flynn can do something that I haven't seen anybody else be able to do today. He can actually pull a draft along. When he gets out in the clean air, he can just suck the entire line of cars behind him forward."_

_"We used to see that all the time back in the late 90's and early 2000's, but we don't really see that with this areo package. So, I guess that means he's got a really strong car."_

"You bet he's got a strong car!"

"Shut up! Some people are trying to sleep!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

_-Lap 62- _

_"Phineas, depending on how things turn out, these may be the last instructions I give you today."_

"I'm listening, Steve."

_"Instruction number one: Block like your life depends on it. Don't let anyone get a run on you or it could be curtains."_

"Okay."

_"Instruction number two: Drive it like you stole it."_

"I can't put my foot down any more than it already is."

_"Good. Keep it that way."_

* * *

_-Lap 65-_

Isabella's eyes were locked on the ticker and lap counter graphic.

9 to go.

1: 28Flynn/Ford - 2: 44Kimmel/Toyota - 3: 15Townley/Toyota - 4: 55Armstrong/Toyota - 5: 77Hessert/Dodge - 6...

"Please don't change…Please don't change…why couldn't it be 2 to go?"

* * *

_-Lap 66-_

_"Inside line is back by two, no opposition from the middle, and eight to go."_

Phineas inhaled sharply. He had come to the sudden realization that he had been holding his breath. He was concentrating so hard, he had actually forgotten to breathe.

* * *

_-Lap 67-_

_"There's not a whole lot going on at the front of the pack right now. The front three are clear, Armstrong leads the inside lane, and just can't seem to close that gap. And then they're two wide another three rows back. But behind that, it's just a hornet's nest! They're three wide, from tenth to twenty-sixth, and they are running so close together and moving around so much…Rick, I can't believe no one has made a mistake yet and caused another big crash."_

"_I'm kinda surprised, too. But, I don't think we're going to be disappointed."_

* * *

_-Lap 68-_

"Phineas, I don't want you to panic, but there is, without a doubt, going to be another wreck."

"Why would that worry me?"

Steve wasn't really sure whether or not he should answer that truthfully. Sometimes, a crew chief's most important job is not telling his driver the full truth. "Uh… no reason. Just out of curiosity, how's the engine sound?"

_"Fine. Fine."_

"Okay, good."

* * *

_-Lap 69-_

_"Don't take your foot off of that hammer, son! Those Toyotas are all over you like Maple syrup!"_

"I hear a fiddle…"

* * *

_"And…Townley switches lanes, drops down in front of Armstrong!"_

A small gap was left in the outside lane where the 15 car had just been, leaving a hole in the draft. Townely, with his strong car now heading the inside line and a hole in the opposing lane, began to gain ground on Phineas and Kimmel, who were now alone.

"Uh-oh," Isabella squeaked. "Look out, Phineas…"

* * *

_"Coming on the bottom, back by half and closing."_

Phineas looked in the tiny side view mirror mounted on the A-post. Sure enough, the Zaxby's Toyota filled the mirror. Phineas moved to the left to block.

He should have just trusted Candace and not taken the time to check for himself. By the time he drove down the track to block, John Wes Townley already was there.

_"Inside! Inside!" _Candace yelled.

But she was too late.

Phineas just barely clipped the right front of Townley's car with his left rear quarter panel.

* * *

_"Contact! Flynn is out of control!"_

"AHHH! NO NO NO!" Isabella screamed.

"Would you please keep it down?!"

"SHUT UP, LADY!"

* * *

Phineas's car broke loose, the nose dropping off the banking in turn one and the back end sliding around. He fought the wheel hard to regain control, cranking back to the right and then to the left. Somehow, he held onto the race car and kept it going straight, now on the flat apron of the race track.

"Whew!"

Phineas looked ahead. He had lost so much momentum in the slide that cars were blowing past him.

_"Yellow, Phineas, yellow, yellow, yellow."_

* * *

_"Stop, Phineas. Red flag is out."_

"Where?"

_"Wherever the pace car stops the field, just stop there."_

"Okay."

When the cars ahead of him stopped, Phineas braked the car to a halt on the front stretch, just past the exit of turn four.

_"Shut the engine off. You're gonna need that fuel."_

Phineas flicked off the power switch. After all the time the engine had been screaming in his ears, the silence was deafening.

He sat very still, trying to figure out how many cars had passed him. Finally, he keyed the radio and asked Steve. "What position am I in now?"

_"I don't know. The officials are still trying to sort out the running order. Everything got screwed up when that big wreck happened."_

Phineas was confused. "What big wreck?"

**One more chapter ought to do it!**


	26. Chapter 26

**This is it! The last chapter of the longest story (so far) of the P&F Industries series.**

**When we get to the very end, you're all gonna want to drive to my house and smack me.**

**"I assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this, I will personally drive over to your house and smack you." -****_Major Francis Monogram, Where's Perry (Part 2)_**

Chapter 26

_"For those of you who are just joining us on Fox Sports One, we are currently under the red flag. The cars have been stopped on the front stretch, and you will notice that there are only about sixteen of them right there, several of which have some body damage after a quite spectacular crash in turn one on lap 69. Those are the only cars left. The rest of the field has been obliterated by this wreck."_

Isabella turned up the volume. She could not believe the automotive massacre that had just taken place at the exact moment that Phineas had gotten turned sideways. This time, she knew Phineas had survived the crash because she could see his red and green number 28 Ford parked among the few surviving cars on the front stretch.

_"Now, Dave, I've been trying to figure out exactly how this crash got started. I thought that when Phineas Flynn got turned sideways, everyone behind him checked up and somebody got rear ended and spun, but looking at the replay, I'm not so sure about that." _

_"Well, let's take another look at why we are under the red flag while officials try to sort out the running order."_

Once again, the Fox Sports One graphic flashed across the screen and the replay appeared, paused.

_"Alright, now there's Phineas Flynn, the 28 car, in the lead. Let's advance this in super-slow motion."_

The field moved very slowly forward.

_"Right here is where Flynn makes contact with John Wes Townley."_

The video paused right at the exact moment Phineas's car hit Townley's. The video wasn't even far enough along for his car to be sideways yet. _"Now look back about eleventh spot. See Mason Mitchell there in the 99 car? Right there, he gets hit from behind by both Grant Enfinger in the 90 on the right side and Thomas Praytor in the 2 on the left side."_

_"Yeah, that's where this wreck got started. It had nothing to do with Flynn getting turned around. It just so happened that Mitchell got turned around at the same time that Flynn did."_

The remainder of the replay played through at normal speed, showing Phineas's miraculous save again and the giant pileup that took place behind him. When Mitchell got turned sideways, he didn't slide off the track like Phineas did. Instead, the banking held the 99 Ford right in the middle of the race track and Mitchell was run into by the cars right behind him. The rest of the field just seemed to all pile in, leaving only the cars from first through tenth unscathed.

The replay played through from a few more angles, then returned to live coverage.

_"There were so many cars involved in that crash, it's probably easier to tell you which drivers weren't involved."_

_"Okay, the ARCA Racing officials have just straightened out the running order."_

* * *

Phineas's radio crackled. _"Phineas?"_

"Yes, Steve?" He sounded rather glum.

_"You ain't never gonna believe this. They finally figured out where everyone was running at the moment of caution."_

"Yeah?"

_"Uh-uh. You line up-"_

* * *

_"So, just to remind you, when the caution comes out, the field is frozen. Everyone will be lined up where they were running at the exact moment the caution came out before pit road is opened."_

_"Here's how they were running when the yellow came out: John Wes Townley is your leader. Frank Kimmel runs second. Phineas Flynn is actually going to line up third. Even though he got passed by all those cars, he was third when the caution came out, so he will restart third."_

"YES!" Isabella cheered. Surprisingly, no one from the adjoining rooms rebuked her.

_"Providing they don't pit, of course."_

_"And then Caleb Armstrong, Tom Hessert, and Sean Corr, those are the drivers that will make up the first three rows when we go back to green, providing none of them pit."_

* * *

"You're kidding!" Phineas cried.

_"Nope. You line up third."_

Phineas's smile quickly faded. "Oh, but we probably have to pit, don't we?"

_"Well, you didn't really get that far sideways. I don't think the tires are too bad. If we had more laps remaining than a green-white-checkered, I'd be worried about it, but I'm not. The fuel, on the other hand, if we have more than one G.W.C., we could be in trouble, so when we go back under the yellow, save as much fuel as you can. Shut the car off while you're pacing, and let it coast."_

"Okay. But, what's a green-white-checkered?"

"Don't worry, the announcers are going to explain it. I don't think the readers want to listen to the OC talk anymore."

"What?"

_"Nothing."_

* * *

_"Now, there's four laps to go. We are probably going to have at least that many pace laps, if not more, to reorganize the field and give teams a chance to pit. That means-"_

_"We're going into overtime!"_

_"We are going to have what we call a 'green-white-checkered.' For those of you who are new to the sport, we will explain what that means."_

_"Regardless of how many pace laps are run, the race will resume with exactly two laps to go. The field will take the green flag, the next time they pass the start/finish line, they will take the white flag, signaling one lap to go, and the next time by they will throw the checkered."_

_"If the caution comes out before they make it to the white flag, we'll line 'em back up and try again, up to two more times. However, once they take the white flag, the next flag ends the race. If they make it all the way back, it'll be checkered. If the caution comes out before they make it back to the start/finish line, the field is frozen and the race is over."_

_"Dave, I like to call this 'Checkers or Wreckers.'"_

"Hmm…" Isabella thought, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Whether Phineas wins or not, this could be very exciting."

* * *

_"'Kay, Phineas, we're back under yellow. You can fire it back up, and just stay in line for now. I'll let you know when they want you to move up."_

"Okay," Phineas said as he re-fired the engine."

_"And don't forget to save fuel."_

"Gotcha."

* * *

_-Lap 74-_

_"The lights on the pace car are out. We are finally going green, this time by."_

Phineas had been instructed to move up to third place a few laps ago. Now that the lights on the pace car were out, the field lined back up double file. He was the second car in line on the inside.

_"Phineas, you have to make your biggest decision of the day,"_ Steve said into the radio.

"What exactly do I have to decide?"

_"You have to decide where you want to be on the last lap. If you're leading and the caution comes out after the white flag, you automatically win. But if you're leading and you make it back around under green, you're going to be really vulnerable to being passed by the cars behind you. If you're second on the last lap, if the yellow comes out then you don't get a second chance. That's it. But, you'll be in a really good position to make a sling-shot for the win if it stays green."_

"Yikes." Phineas sighed. "That is a really important decision."

_"You're driving, so it's up to you."_

Phineas leaned back in the seat. "Oh, boy. I am in trouble."

* * *

Isabella turned up the volume for the umpteenth time. Watching as the pace car dove onto pit road, she folded her hands and said a quick prayer, for Phineas's safety and for his car to magically gain fifty horsepower.

_"John Wes Townley elected the inside line, he and Frank Kimmel lead 'em down for the first attempt at a green-white-checkered. The crowd is on their feet, and the green flag is out!"_

* * *

Just like every restart that day, the inside line got a sizable jump. By the time Phineas shifted up to third gear, Candace had already told him, _"Clear outside, clear by one."_

Phineas held his car right in the draft from Townley's Toyota, still picking up speed.

_"Still no pressure from the outside."_

Phineas finally got to fourth gear just off of turn two.

* * *

"I'm afraid to watch!" Doofenshmirtz cried. He opened one of the doors on the war wagon and stuck his head inside. He held the door shut on his neck. "Don't tell me what happens, Perry the Platypus!"

Behind his sunglasses, Perry rolled his eyes.

* * *

_-Lap 75-_

_"White flag! One to go! Next flag ends it!" _

_"Townley still with no competition!"_

"Oh, please no cautions, please no cautions, please no cautions…" Isabella chanted under her breath.

* * *

The field exited turn two. _"Still clear outside," _Candace relayed.

Phineas already knew that. He had one eye locked on his mirror and the other following Townley's car. _One mile, two turns to go. Steady._

* * *

Steve stood up atop the war wagon as the pack roared into turn 3. "Aw, Phineas, don't wait too long, man."

Ferb suddenly grabbed Vanessa's hand, but didn't actually look at her. Vanessa looked down at their joined hands. "Nervous?" she asked. Ferb nodded, still not averting his gaze from the race track. "Me too." Ferb would have let out a sigh of relief if he'd had any air in his lungs.

* * *

_"Here they come! Off turn four!"_

* * *

Phineas sucked in a deep breath and drifted up the track. Townley didn't even have a chance to block before Phineas was beside his rear fender.

Tom Hessert was the car directly behind Phineas. When Phineas moved to the outside, Hessert went with him, in hopes of at least passing Townley and gaining one more position. The fourth place car, John Ferrier had the same idea. Unfortunately, by the time he moved up, he already had a little run to Hessert's inside. When Ferrier moved up, he clipped Hessert's Dodge.

They both spun. The few remaining cars in the field had no time to react, and no where to go to avoid hitting the two spinning race cars.

* * *

_"Flynn moves to the outside! He's got a run on Townley!"_

_"And they're all wrecking behind the leaders! It's gonna be a two car drag race to the line!"_

At the top of her lungs, Isabella screamed, "GO PHINEAS! DRIVE!"

* * *

Phineas risked a half-glance to his left. His car had lost all momentum when the cars behind him wrecked. He could see John Wes Townley himself in the Toyota next to him. He could see the 15 car's A-post. It was dead even with his own.

Phineas turned his attention back forward. He could see the flag man, checkered flag in hand.

Even though they were going almost two hundred miles per hour, to Phineas, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

They were in the middle of the tri-oval when the crash occurred behind him. That was perhaps three hundred yards from the start/finish line. It should have taken exactly three seconds to make it to the flag stand. To Phineas, it seemed to take three years.

The checkered flag unfurled in the air. Phineas shut his eyes as he crossed the finish line.

* * *

The entire number 28 crew followed the two cars across the finish line with their eyes. The two cars were so close, it was impossible to tell who the winner was. Thanks to electronic timing and scoring, they could just look at the massive scoring tower to see who had won.

But none of them did.

The crash on the front stretch involved all fourteen remaining cars that had been behind Phineas and John Wes Townley. Some of them managed to limp across the finish line, some were stuck, immobilized from the damage. One car, Darrel Basham's number 34 Chevrolet, was perched on its right side against the outside wall.

Carefully avoiding looking in the direction of the scoring tower and the TV monitor in the war wagon, Steve climbed down to the ground.

Ferb squeezed Vanessa's hand. She squeezed back. The shock that squeeze sent through his system caused Ferb to inhale sharply.

The four former Fireside Girls were all chewing nervously on their fingernails and twirling their hair around one finger.

"Nobody wants to look, huh?" Steve asked.

"No."

"Nope."

"I'm good."

Steve was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "How are we supposed to find out who won?"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz pulled his head out of the war wagon but also refused to look at the scoring tower. "I say that Perry the Platypus looks first."

Everybody looked at the platypus, who suddenly looked rather scared.

Gretchen raised her right hand high above her head. "All in favor?"

Everybody else raised their hands as well. "AYE!" was the unanimous response.

Perry shuddered.

"You have to look, Perry," Katie said slowly.

Perry sighed. He shut his eyes and turned around to face the scoring tower.

He opened his eyes.

"Well, Perry?" Vanessa asked.

Perry's eyes widened. But, of course, he was a platypus. He couldn't tell his team what he saw if he wanted to.

"Perry?"

**To be continued in episode 9...**


End file.
